Phydeaux Speaks
April 2000

"Thank you for calling MegaLo, your one stop customer first shopping center."

"Yes, hello, I would -"

"No one can get to the phone right now, but your call is very important to us. If you would like to connect with sales, press one. If you would like to connect with marketing, press two. If you need to correct an order, press four. If you need to place an order, press five. If the second letter of your mother's maiden name is not a vowel, press six. If you prefer dogs to cats, press seven. If you need to hear this menu again, press star."

[BEEP] [RING] [RING]

"You have reached the sales department here at MegaLo, your one stop customer first shopping center. No one can get to the phone right now, but your call is very important to us. If you know your party's extension, you may dial it at any time. To place an order, press one. To check on an order, press two. To be placed on our e-mail list, press three. To repeat this menu, press star."

[BEEP] [RING] [RING]

"Thank you for calling the routing department here at MegaLo, your one stop customer first shopping center. We can't get to the phone right now, but your call is very important to us. To check the status of your order, press one. To verify shipment of your order, press two. For the latest stock quotes, press three. To repeat this menu, press star."

[BEEP] [RING] [RING]

"Hi, this is Ted Whisnant, head of the routing department at MegaLo, your one stop customer first shopping center. I can't get to the phone right now, but your call is very important to me. Please leave a brief message at the beep, or press one to speak with my office assistant."

[BEEP] [RING] [RING]

"Thank you for calling the office of Ted Whisnant, head of routing at MegaLo, your one stop customer first shopping center. No one can get to the phone right now, but your call is very important to us. At the sound of the beep, please leave a brief message, including your name and phone number and we will get back to you as soon as possible. BEEP."


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[Direct all comments to Phydeaux at Rapid River, 70 Woodfin Place, Suite 212, Asheville, NC 28801, or email rapriv@hotmail.com.]