Monthly Archive: May 2004

Ain’t love grand?  Divorce is 2-3 grand though…  Willow still loves me… but I’m afraid of her… afraid to say certain things because it might negatively impact her recovery, and afraid to say other things because she would hate me.  Not the best basis for a relationship…  I hope she continues to love me, but I’m not sure anymore that we should be together.


And I’m drunk tonight, so anything I say may be used against me…  I do love you, Willow, I am in love with you… but I’m afraid… very afraid…


Don’t know what else to say… other than that Willow is the most beautiful woman I have ever known…


Hugs,
Moss

It has been a good week.  I’ve heard from Willow 4 times, including 3 with voice and 1 with webcam, on Yahoo Messenger.  I am greatly enheartened by her faith in me.  So often it seems that all I am doing is whining.  But I keep the candles going, I keep giving her my energy, and she is certainly getting well.  It shows a weakness in my character, I feel, that I finally find a beautiful, powerful woman who needs and loves me and all I can do is whine about her not being here.


Otherwise things are about the same.  Gwenn is still staying with me (or maybe I didn’t mention that, I’ve been lax on posting here), should be moving out in the next day or three.  Some guy drove down from Virginia last night and spent several hours with her.  He seemed nice… and she did a lot of smiling when she came home…


Other than my whininess about being alone, I’ve been feeling great.  I’m getting a lot of support in my forums.  I’m starting up a Recovery, Inc. group; I’ve bought a few copies of Mental Health Through Will-Training for that, and printed up some materials, either that I had from my Recovery groups in Detroit or that I found on the Internet.


Guess that’s it for now.  Love to all my friends.


Hugs,
Moss

Well, I guess I’ve been slacking again.  I’ve only heard from Willow once since I wrote last.  But it was on Yahoo Messenger, and she has a new webcam, so I got to talk to her and even look at her. 


AHN is in growing pains, people are finding out that they don’t like each other.  We need a membership drive, but don’t have a Membership Application Form approved yet.  As usual, I had to draft one myself, but I still haven’t gotten any comments on it.  I’m beginning to wonder if I’m the only person actually IN this group, LOL.


Happy Mother’s Day mom.


I shared my financial projections through 12/05 with my parents, got some comments from them.  I think I’ve earned a bit more respect from them.


Don’t know what else to say right now.


Hugs,
Moss