Monthly Archive: October 2004

I dreamed of Kayla last night for the first time.  We were with each other, we were the same age, and I was helping her learn something that her mother was telling me she could never learn.  I won’t go into details here, but it was a good dream.

I just got off the phone with my sweetie again.  She will be leaving the house in about 7 hours, and will be in my arms in less than 31 hours.  Yes, it’s that close, and I’m so happy.  I’m actually calmer the closer it gets, although I expect that to reverse when I know she is on the road, especially after she leaves Knoxville on the last leg of her journey to me.

I need to meditate and sleep.  Talk to you later.  Welcome to a new visitor, and thank you for your kind comments.


I talked to my honey for about 45 minutes tonight. We’re both so excited!!!!! She leaves in the morning to catch an evening bus!!!!! She’ll be here Tuesday morning!!!!!!

Dancing hugs,



Consider these…

Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush’s Daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a “we can’t find Bin Laden” diversion.

Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

A woman can’t be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans’ benefits and combat pay.

If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won’t have sex.

Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.

HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.

Global warming and tobacco’s link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

The public has a right to know about Hillary’s cattle trades, but George Bush’s cocaine conviction is none of our business.

Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you’re a conservative radio host. Then it’s an illness, and you need our prayers for your recovery.

You support states’ rights, which means Attorney General John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives they have the right to adopt.

What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the ’80s is irrelevant.

Feel free to pass this on. Send it to at least 10 other people, or we’re likely to be stuck with Bush for 4 more years.

Magical Deer ezine

earth witch
You are an earth witch. You have a bit of each of
the other elements in you, but still stay your
solid self. You are loyal, giving, and
trustworthy which unfortunately may cause
people to take advantage of you at times. You
draw your power from the earth around you and
have great respect for Gaia/the mother, and as
the earth, you too are beautiful and can make a
wonderful mother.

What kind of ‘witch’ are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

It Will All Be Over Soon
BushCo? Kerry? SUV gluttony? Your last orgasm? All flashes in the geological pan, baby. Don’t forget

By Mark Morford, SF Gate Columnist
Friday, October 8, 2004

It’s so easy to get all caught up in the everyday spit and hiss and noise and blank presidential smirks. Isn’t it?

It is, after all, incredibly easy to get stuck in the white-hot moment, all screaming elections and bland debates and counterfeit terrorism fears and ugly obesity epidemics and Atkins-approved bubble gum and air/water pollution like an afterthought, all commingling with the mad melodrama of your last bad haircut and the scratch on your precious bumper to the point where we forget the scope of it all, the scale, the macro and the micro and the ebb and flow and the imminent flip of the cosmic switch.

This is how we are wired. This is only what we see. The long view is clearly not our forte, a sense of the celestial a concept we just can’t quite taste. We forget, for example, how relatively quickly regimes rise and neoconservative empires fall and populations overturn and how nearly every single human biped now alive and walking and spitting and parallel parking and consuming Big Macs and not watching ABC sitcoms on the planet today will be very much completely dead within a short 100 years, if not sooner.

Pause here. Think about that. A hundred years, everyone now alive, dead. Everyone. You. Me. Bush. Your kids. All dead. Guaranteed.

And of course you are not exempt because if you are old enough to read this and if you are old enough to make it through this paragraph without caring all that much about the general carefree lack of major punctuation or a clear thesis statement, then it is indeed proof that you are already well on your way toward some sort of Regurgitative Afterlife Leapfrog-arama, some sort of mystical evolutionary whoop, if not a ghostly dreamy moist sepia-toned afterlife featuring a plethora of nubile long-eyelashed callipygian assistants plying your luminous self with wine and chocolates and fine artisan cheeses, forevermore.

But as true as that scenario may be, on a moment-by-moment basis, we aren’t much aware of what might be in store. We block, we dodge, we fill up on grease and poison and anger, and it all seems so immediate, so right now, so present and hateful and suffocating as if there has never been anything else but this, but Bush and Kerry and Saddam and Ford Expeditions like a national cancer, bad schools and staggering third-world poverty and a Dubya-ravaged planet.

And history merely seems like a blurry, unrecognizable movie and the future just a vague intangible notion, a blip, a hint, so much so you can only smell the immediacy in the air and taste the bitter metallic tang of it on your tongue and you want to spit it out and cleanse your palate on something fruity and swooning and just a little bit eternal, which is why we so desperately turn to religion, and religion can only mostly shrug and offer platitudes and guilty doctrine and blind faith and ask for money. You know how it is.

Funny, then, that the mystics and the gurus and the deep thinkers, they always tell us that true awareness, true power of self, comes from living in the now, in the moment, in the deep Yes of today, though of course we look at them and say but wait you can’t possibly mean I must commit myself with full unwavering intimate intent to the war and Donny Rumsfeld’s black soulless eyes and cancerous McNuggets and hissing policy wonks and Bill O’Reilly digging himself a karmic grave with every shouted sneer and Jessica Simpson’s ubiquity infecting us like an STD, right?

No no no, they reply. No, of course that’s not what we mean. Then they might roll their eyes and sigh and order another pitcher of mojitos.

What they mean, rather, is to sink so deeply into the hot moment of now that you can actually transcend the mad swirl of heatstroke and hate and bile and Bush and jackhammers outside your window, and learn to see through the raw everyday smoke-and-mirror shell game of blissful agony and corrupted paradise to where you can actually begin to see the eternal in it all, lick the interconnectedness, move like you know you’re really just a thousand pins dancing on the head of an angel.

This is the trick, then. To live so intentionally for the wet sticky Now that you dissolve the distinctions and see that it all flows together and it’s all just two (one? zero?) degrees of separation between Us and Them, Fear and Hope, War and Love and Porn and Religion and Man and Woman and Self and Divine and Will and Grace and this too shall pass and Bush is just a sad bleak phantasm we have to pass through, like a sewer pipe, a dark reeking cloud, a bad fever dream, a nasty flu you had as a child where you dreamed your hands were two balloons.

Live in the moment, pay attention, participate, delve into the issues as if your life depended on it, fight your ass off for what you believe in and what you care about and what matters most. But then again, avoid toxins, don’t get poisoned by it all. Stay clear, be spiritually nimble, physically radiant, transcend at will. This is the balance. This is the flux. This is the only way.

Because soon enough, a small hunk of time will pass and this epoch will flit away and we’ll blink a number of times and feel a slight shift and not remember much of it anyway. Which is why we have the Internet. And books. And “I Love the ’00s.” And faint wisps of memory, like threads, like smoke, like vague hints of something else.

We will very shortly all look back on this and laugh. And cry. And point fingers and lay blame and try to figure out what the hell went wrong and where we screwed it all up and what we did right and where we found our glimmers of hope and our delicious hallowed balms of much-needed temporal salvation.

Do you see? Does it make any sense at all? Are you paying sufficient attention? No?

Then come closer to the screen. No, closer. Even closer, still.

Do you see it now? See how it all begins to dissolve and soften and pixilate? To break apart into a million tiny perfect luminous dots with nothing but infinite space between and infinite potential betwixt? Well, there you go. There’s your current event. There’s your immeasurable now. Think about it. Now get back to work.

A message from the United Confederation of Taino People (UCTP)

Please forward and print (one copy or many) of this questionnaire and distribute as widely as possible. Have your children hand it to their teachers, post it on the bulletin board at your community center, discuss it with your friends and neighbors, mail a copy to your Mayor, City Council and House Representatives, Senators, Governor and President — why are politicians neglecting to do something about this absurd & abominable holy day (that IS what holiday means) that only serves the purpose of rubbing salt into some of the old, festering wounds of so many in our multi-cultural society. WHY DO WE CELEBRATE COLUMBUS DAY? What is the meaning of this day to each of us, or is there any meaning at all? Please, bring this up as a topic of discussion with others, and let me know what kind of responses you hear.

Questions To Ponder As Columbus Day nears

1. Columbus sailed into the Caribbean and never even set foot in what is now known as the United States. So, why do we, in the United States, give him one of our 8 Federal holidays?

2. Why would Columbus be given credit for “discovering” the Americas anyway, when we all know those lands were already inhabited and had been for thousands of years? Didn’t the inhabitants of those lands discover them? Look at any map of the US and see the many, many, many states, cities and towns that all bear the Native American names of people and peoples who once populated those regions: Illinois, Oklahoma, Cheyene, Nantuckett, Milwaukee, Yuma, Omaha, Wichita, Tallahassee, Mississippi, Muskogee, Tennessee, Allegheny, Missouri, Kentucky, Huron, Tuscaloosa and on and on and on……

3. Knowing that Native Americans were already here, and Columbus never was here, why does anyone go along with the myth that “Columbus Discovered America”, when we all know it is not true?

4. Why aren’t we taught the whole truth about Columbus’ actions and the devastating consequences of those actions? Why are we only told about Columbus, who as a boy who always wanted to sail and then when he got older Spain provided him three ships & he sailed across the ocean and DISCOVERED A NEW WORLD! (where millions of Taino had lived for thousands of years and which we now call the Caribbean). Why are we only taught about that FIRST voyage, and not the other 3 voyages, when all hell broke loose? Why aren’t we taught about how on the second voyage, unlike the first when Columbus only had 3 small old ships, Columbus was given 17 large ships and 1,500 armed men eagerly signed up
for the chance to go to the “New World” with hopes of getting rich quick on the gold to be found there? Also, why aren’t we taught about the greed and brutality of the Spaniards against the Taino (who have been remembered as “naked savages” in our history books, if at all), and how the Taino were murdered and enslaved on that second voyage? Why are we not taught about the third voyage & how when King Ferdinand & Queen Isabella of Spain heard about Columbus’ actions in the “New World” he was sent back to Spain in chains to stand trial for his crimes, was convicted and stripped of his titles? Or, how the Spaniards tricked 80 of the Taino leaders into a hut and burned them alive? Isn’t to omit the ugly part of the truth considered LYING BY OMISSION? Then, that is what our schools are doing when they only teach about the first voyage, they are lying by omission to our students, and we as a improperly educated country have a holiday for an evil, greedy, slave-trading, murderer.

5. Some people say he is worthy of the honor of a holiday for his nautical genius, but the Vikings sailed across the ocean to North America 500 years before, Marco Polo sailed to China & India 300 years prior and the Chinese set foot upon the very shores that Columbus did 71 years prior to the arrival of Columbus, the difference being, Columbus “claimed” the land and cites the Papal Bulls with giving him the authority to do so if no one disputes the action, and Columbus according to his journal, was careful to add that no one disputed it at the time, while admitting at the same time that they could not understand each other, so how could they be expected to understand what his flag-planting and pronunciations meant?

6. Many people will argue that Columbus brought Western Civilization to what is now known as the United States, and that is the reason the US bestows upon him the honor of a holiday. But how can we make that correlation when Columbus, working for Spain, came in 1492 and the European colonizers who came here TWO HUNDRED years later, came from England? If Columbus is worthy of being given credit for this “achievement”, wouldn’t it have happened 200 years earlier and wouldn’t we all be speaking Spanish now as the countries he invaded do?

7. Some people will argue that Columbus Day is a day for recognition of Italians, an Italian Pride Day. Are Italians more worthy of recognition than other ethnic groups in this country we have proudly (?) nicknamed “The Melting Pot”? I have heard Italians say that Germans have Oktoberfest, the Irish have St. Patrick’s Day and Mexicans have Cinco de Mayo, but none of those are FEDERAL holidays. The only two ethnic groups worthy of recognition for their contributions and sacrifice in this land are those who were ALREADY HERE when the Europeans came and those who the Europeans BROUGHT HERE IN CHAINS. All other ethnic groups came here voluntarily. It was long overdue but African Americans finally got their holiday – Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day in January…. but Native Americans still don’t have a holiday (urge your congressmen and women to support House Bill #167).

8. Some people think he is deserving of the honor because he proved the world was round, but this was already a widely accepted belief by educated people at the time as Ptolemy, the ancient astronomer and geographer from Egypt, declared that the Earth was spherical in the second century.

7. Why do 17 states refuse to recognize and/or celebrate Columbus Day?

8. Why do protestors gather and march at every Columbus Day Parade?

9. And, WHY is Columbus honored with one of our 8 federal holidays in the US when,

    a. He didn’t “discover” us, or anything previously undiscovered or uninhabited
    b. He never set foot on what is now U.S. soil.
    c. His legacy is greed, theft, destruction, brutality, slave-trading and murder
    d. It is offensive to Latin American, African American and Native Americans
    e. Native Americans, who were here and are worthy of a holiday, still don’t have one

10.And why have the Taino people of the Caribbean and those in the US, whose ancestors have paid such a huge price for the misfortune of being “discovered”, been erroneously declared extinct and are therefore denied legal recognition by the government?

To learn more about the truth, read:

*In Defense of the Indians” by Bartolome de las Casas
*A People’s History” by Howard Zinn
*Lies My Teacher Told Me” by James Louwen
*Rethinking Columbus” by Bigelow and Peterson
*The Voyages of Christopher Columbus” by Rex and Thea Rienits
*The Log of Christopher Columbus” by Robert H. Fuson
*The Journal of Columbus” by Clarkson N. Potter
*1421, The Year China Discovered America” by Gavin Menzies
*America Discovers Columbus” by John Noble Wilford
*The Conquest of Paradise” by Kirkpatrick Sale
*The Columbus Dynasty in the Caribbean” by Troy S. Floyd
*The Conquest of America” by Tzvetan Todorov
*Columbus & Cortez, Conquerors for Christ” by Eidsmoe.

Other recommendations available upon email request to:

or visit our website at:

The United Confederation of TaĆ­no People (UCTP)

Another day closer to starting my new life.  I’ve talked with Kayla on the phone, and will be talking to her again in about an hour.  This is really good, she really does love me, and I know how I feel about her… like y’all haven’t figured it out yet.

I have to get through this weekend.  Fortunately, there is a local science fiction and gaming convention, to which I have been invited as a special musical guest, that runs all weekend.  Might take my mind off worrying about things.  Then Monday… my sweetheart climbs on a bus and rolls her way to my arms.  Ah, Bliss.  No pun intended.

Nearly all of my friends are for this.  Nearly all of her friends are against it.  Some of them may not be friends any more, from the way they have talked about us.

I won’t have any problem with the in-laws (when they get to be that).  Her father has called me a stalker and threatened to call the police on me, and says I swore at him on the phone, and her brother has called me a rapist.  Neither person has bothered to try TALKING to me yet, it has all been shouting, curses, and threats.  I haven’t yelled back yet… but I wish they would let me talk and maybe give me a chance.  Like I told Kayla, how bad could I be; my last mother-in-law still calls me her son and writes often — six years after the divorce.  (Love you, Mom Parks!)

Ah well.  Lots of good things happening.  But the biggest will happen on Monday/Tuesday.

Lots of hugs,

You are the color pink. As a beautiful and sweet
human, you are everybody’s favorite person.
Healthy and energetic, you’re often seen
spreading the happiness. As an unusually
charming and sweet person, you’re always ready
to comfort people who are down. You sympathize
with everyone, but not always yourself. Aside
from that, you are light-hearted and cheery.
And you make it your duty to make every cloud
have a silver lining

What color are you? (Amazingly detailed & accurate–with pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla

Two men went golfing. One man took his pipe out of his gold bag and asked the other one if he had a lighter. The other man pulled out a 12-inch Bic lighter and handed it to him. The first man said “Where did you get that?”
The second man said, “From my genie.” The man pulled a lamp out of his bag and rubbed it. The genie appeared and asked what he wanted. He said a million bucks and the genie went back into the lamp. As soon as he disappeared, a million ducks flew overhead.
“Wait a minute,” the first man said, “that’s not what you asked for.”
The second man said, “My genie is hard of hearing. Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch Bic?”


Two old men were sitting in a bar, discussing their wives. The first said, “Last night, I asked Myrna if we could try sex in a different position. I wanted to try doing it doggy style.”
“Doggy style? Did she go for it?”
“I’ll say. I sat up and begged while she rolled over and played dead.”


I love my Kayla. Hope I made you smile.

Kayla continues to move toward me and tell me she loves me.  She will be leaving in about 4 days.

Unless her family has something to say about it.  I have gotten an angry, threatening call and Yahoo Messenger messages from her brother, and the last time I called her her father said that if I called any more he would have me reported as a stalker.  Interesting take on the matter, not many stalkers get calls from the stalkee, especially loving ones, and I have not called their house except by direct invitation.  Her brother is telling her that I am a rapist.  I’m sure they’d love to keep her to themselves and mistreat her as they have been doing for the last 20 years.

I have done what I can.  I take responsibility for those actions.  It is up to Kayla now to have the strength and will to follow through.  I REALLY want this to happen, and know we can make it work.  Please, all my friends, pray for us.  The next few days will be the hardest.



A couple from Minneapolis decided to go to Florida to thaw out during one particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the very same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.

Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday,with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her e-mail address, and without realizing his error, sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile…..somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband’s funeral. He was a minister of many years who was called home to glory following a sudden heart attack.

The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow’s son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I’ve Arrived
Date: 8 Sept 2004

I know you’re surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones.
I’ve just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then!

Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

P.S. It sure is hot down here!