Monthly Archive: October 2004

I stole this from another friend’s Xanga:


You Know You’re From Arizona When…


You’ve signed so many petitions to recall governors you can’t remember the name of the incumbent.


You notice your car overheating before you drive it.


You no longer associate bridges or rivers with water.


You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink.


You can hear the weather forecast of 115 degrees without flinching.


You can be in the snow, then drive for an hour…and it will be over 100 degrees.


You discover, in July it only takes two fingers to drive your car, because your steering wheel is so hot.


You can make sun tea instantly.


You run your a/c in the middle of winter so you can use your fireplace.


The best parking is determined by shade…..not distance.


You realize that “Valley Fever” isn’t a disco dance.


Hotter water comes from the cold water tap than the hot one.


It’s noon in July, kids are on summer vacation and yet all the streets are totally empty of both cars and people.


You actually burn your hand opening the car door.


Sunscreen is sold year round, kept right at the checkout counter.


You put on fresh sunscreen just to go check the mail box.


Some fools will market mini-misters for joggers and some other fools will actually buy them.


Worse…..some fools actually try to jog.


You know hot air balloons can’t rise because the air temperature is hotter than the air inside the balloon.


No one would dream of putting vinyl inside a car.


You see two trees fighting over a dog.


You can say “Hohokam” and people don’t think you’re laughing funny


You see more irrigation water on the street than there is in the Salt River


You have to go to a fake beach for some fake waves


You can pronounce”Saguaro”, “Tempe”, “San Xavier”, “Canyon de Chelly”, “Mogollon Rim”, and “Cholla”


You can understand the reason for a town named “Why”


You can fry an egg on the hood of a car IN THE MORNING!


You hear people say “but it’s a DRY heat!”


You buy salsa by the gallon.


Your Christmas decorations include sand and l00 paper bags.


You think a red light is merely a suggestion.


All of your out-of-state friends start to visit after October but clear out come the end of April.


You think someone driving wearing oven mitts is clever.


Most of the restaurants in town have the first name “El” or “Los.”


You think 60 tons of crushed red rock makes a beautiful yard.


Your house is made of stucco and has a red clay tile roof.


Vehicles with open windows have the right-of-way in the summer.


Most homes have more firearms than people.


Kids will ask, “What’s a mosquito?”


People who have black cars or black upholstery in their car are automatically assumed to be from out of-state or nuts.


You know better than to get into a car with leather seats if you’re wearing shorts.


If you haven’t worked for Motorola at some time, you must be a newcomer.


You can finish a Big Gulp in 10 minutes and go back for seconds.


You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Arizona.

“Americans can always be counted on to do the right thing… after they have exhausted all other possibilities.”
Sir Winston Churchill


I hope y’all are registered to vote AND GO DO IT! We have a bigger crisis in this country than even the Democrats seem to understand.


And it seems like the American public believes that: If a Republican complains about something, it MUST BE TRUE, but if a Democrat complains about something EVEN IF IT’S MORE IMPORTANT, they’re just WHINING. Hey, don’t look now, but Andy Rooney whines all the time, and we listen to him anyhow.


Y’all are lucky you don’t watch the local news here, we have a commentator on the news who thinks he’s Rush Limbaugh, except probably no drugs and he still young and skinny. Anyhow, off the soapbox for now. Everyone knows I don’t have ANY opinions…


Hugs,
Me

I didn’t know whether to post this to this blog or the other one… funny stuff goes here, spiritual stuff there… but here goes…

Accept that some days you’re the pigeon,
and some days you’re the statue.

Always keep your words soft and sweet,
just in case you have to eat them.

Always read stuff that will make you
look good if you die in the middle of it.

Drive carefully. It’s not only cars
that can be recalled by their maker.

Eat a live toad in the morning and
nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.

If you can’t be kind,
at least have the decency to be vague.

If you lend someone $20,
and never see that person again,
it was probably worth it.

It may be that your sole purpose in life
is simply to serve as a warning to others.

Never buy a car you can’t push.

Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time,
because then you don’t have a leg to stand on.

Nobody cares if you can’t dance well.
Just get up and dance.

The early worm gets eaten by the bird,
so sleep late.

When everything’s coming your way,
you’re in the wrong lane.

Birthdays are good for you;
the more you have, the longer you live.

Ever notice that the people who are late
are often much jollier than the people
who have to wait for them?

If ignorance is bliss,
why aren’t more people happy?

You may be only one person in the world,
but you may also be the world to one person.

Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

Don’t cry because it’s over;
smile because it happened.

We could learn a lot from crayons:
some are sharp, some are pretty,
some are dull, some have weird names,
and all are different colors;
but they all have to learn to live in the same box.

A truly happy person is one
who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

Happiness comes through doors
you didn’t even know you left open