Monthly Archive: September 2006

You know your an aging coven when…

The ritual feast is puréed.
Last Beltaine the coven decided it would be nice to go out to dinner to celebrate.
The last time you tried to do a spiral dance your oxygen feeds got tangled.
Viagra is kept in the coven supplies.
The maiden of the coven is a grandmother.
The ritual room is outfitted with defibrillators.
The coveners drive their RV’s to Scottsdale for Mabon.
When you are at a festival you go to bed at sunset.
It takes the whole coven to move the cauldron.
The high priest still has a vendetta going against Richard Nixon.
You find yourself using your pendulum over the stock pages in the newspaper.
You tell an initiate that in your day you had to slog through 5′ of snow uphill both ways when you did a Yule ritual.
You drop your teeth in the ritual cup.
At Samhain you see more of your coveners in the Wild Hunt than you do in circle.
You put your athame in the chalice during ritual but you can’t remember why.
You hold an all night blow-out drum frenzy and none of your neighbors notice.
You use Glenn Miller records for trance music.
All of your ritual robes are tie-dyed.
Your coven has a 401(k) retirement plan.
A nitro pill vial has replaced the crystal on your pendant.
No one has successfully jumped the Beltaine fire since 1983.
You set comfy chairs around the circle.
You tried sitting on the floor and couldn’t get up again.
You do anointings with Aspercreme.
The oak tree your coven planted died of old age.
You use Bran Muffins and Prune Juice for Cakes & Ale.
You don’t use salt to consecrate your altar because you need to stay away from extra sodium.
You use a walker during the Wild Hunt.
You prefer to rent a Hall for rituals because the bathrooms are closer.
You need a flashlight to find the candles.

– Author Unknown

Another week has passed.  Life has been a roller coaster, but has levelled out now.  I can’t tell you how much Andarea means to me (yes, I spelled her name wrong earlier, and I think it sounds better this way anyhow).  Our struggle now is in convincing Andy that he belongs here.  He has been a great help to both of us, but does not believe in himself or what we see in him.

Andarea has asked that we be handfasted the end of October.  She still has not met any of my SerpentStone Family, so we are not clear on who will priestess the ritual.  It would be better to wait, but I do tend to follow my lady’s wishes.

Frankie is finally out of the hospital and resting at home.  Her new feet are holding up fairly well, but she is having challenges.  She gets a new nurse and nurse aide tomorrow.  I hope they can help get her life back in order.

Andarea and I have been doing a LOT of work with the homeless.  She gives me something I have not given myself before — the ability to go out and mix with the homeless in the park.  It has been quite a stretch for me, but I seem to be adjusting.  We have also discussed her taking over my job as President of AHN.  Maybe in a couple of months, or maybe it will wait until the elections in June.  You probably remember me saying that I wasn’t the right person for the job… maybe in a few months I will be, but Andarea is a tireless worker despite the pain she is in, and they accept her more easily than me.

I wrote my first new song in at least a couple years.  That in itself is frightening, since every woman I’ve written a song for has left me… but this is not directly a love song to her … and is a lot darker than I’ve ever written.  It sounds almost medieval in melody, with sparse but effective lyrics.  I’ll post it later, or you can visit my website and read it (Title: Blood Love).

I hope all your lives are going the way you would like.

Hugs,
Me

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IrishLass wrote this, but I would have if I could, and she said I could use it.  Thanks, Irish.

For You

Because I think of you more than you know
But I think you do know
I whisper like the wind in the corners of your heart
I remind you of how much you want me
Need me
Scream for me in the empty recesses of your barren soul
You are mine
I am yours
Forever
and you know it
I smile in the corners of your mind when you’re happy
When you are happy, I am happy
I think of you more than you know
But you’re always aware of me
You’ll always care for me
You can run and you can hide
But I’m always there
There’s no where you can go that I won’t find you
Because you take me with you
Wherever you go, I am there
Wherever you’re not, I too am there
I think of you more than you know
I belong to you and you can’t deny it
Seek me
Allow me
Know me
Give in to me
I think of you more than you know
Will you let me love you?

I just had to say that my life has never been better.  The relationship I am forging with Andrea is beyond belief.  I may have been this happy before, but this is the most sustainable relationship I’ve ever been in.  I’m not even going to bother defending her or us… we think enough alike, have been through many of the same issues… she is so strong and has lived through things that would have killed most of us, but has retained her beautiful, open heart.  We talk for hours, are vulnerable to each other, and pick each other up when a fear or another problem hits… the thing we are each most afraid of is losing the other, it would be too great a loss to bear.  I’m sorry if this hurts or upsets anyone reading this, there was nothing WRONG before but this has everything RIGHT.  I don’t remember being so physically attracted to a woman, EVER, and then to have her want to be everything else as well… I’ll shut up now.  I hope you are happy for us.  And she asked me to marry her last night (giggle, that’s a first).  It will be quite a while before that can happen, so I’m not holding my breath, but I have never wanted anything more.

Hugs,
Me

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Love

Then said Almitra, “Speak to us of Love.”
And he raised his head and looked upon the people, and there fell a stillness upon them.
And with a great voice he said:
When love beckons to you follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.
Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God’s sacred feast.
All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life’s heart.
But if in your fear you would seek only love’s peace and love’s pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love’s threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.
When you love you should not say, “God is in my heart,” but rather, “I am in the heart of God.”
And think not you can direct the course of love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love’s ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.
 
from The Prophet
kahlil gibran

   
Beginning this moment, we can pledge to do one act of greatness each day. An act of greatness is any task, behavior or deed performed in a loving way for a good purpose. We can practice greatness through service, through praise and acknowledgment, in our work, and in building a dream. An act of greatness today, tomorrow, and the next day: soon, we discover that the magnificent life we once believed elusive is the very one we’re leading.

–Mary Manin Morrissey

Humans are rare among mammals in that we are always ready for love.   Unlike our animal relatives, human females do not have special seasons of estrus. Scientists speculate about why this distinction came about, some believing that the length of time a human baby must be nurtured gave rise to a need to bond us more tightly together. And sexual pleasure is, indeed, a great and compelling bond.

This human biological trait is both a blessing and a curse. It is a blessing, because we are able to bond with each other beyond the sheer physical need for release. But love can also feel like a curse, as the poet Ibykos reminds us, because it opens up to change. Love can overturn our lives as easily as a child overturns a wagon of toys, which is why we love the Goddess’ child, Eros or Cupid, is pictured as so wanton and careless of our lives. Yet without its beauty, what would our lives be worth?

. By Patricia Monaghan ~ From “The Goddess Companion”

I am sorry to have not posted much lately.  With all the crises in my life and the lives of my friends, and with all the meetings and things I’ve been doing, and with two new housemates… well, life has been hectic, but I’ve been taking good care of myself.

There is a new love in my life… a few of you saw this coming, but it would never have happened if things had remained what they had been.  Some of you may not believe that… but anyhow.  I’m having a wonderful time, and while Andrea and I may look like The Odd Couple, we appear to be everything that was missing in each others’ life.  Time will tell, but this feels really good.

Hope everyone is doing well.  Looking forward to hearing more from Irish, Flamez, Kayla, and all you other wonderful people.

Hugs,
Me

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A Prayer for You
– Rob Breszny

I’m happy to announce that this is a perfect moment. It’s a perfect moment for many reasons, but especially because I have been inspired to say a gigantic prayer for all of you. I’ve been roused to unleash a divinely greedy, apocalyptically healing prayer for each and every one of you — even those of you who don’t believe in the power of prayer.

And so I am starting to pray right now to the God of Gods … the God beyond all Gods … the Girlfriend of God … the Teacher of God … the Goddess who invented God.

Dear Goddess, You who never kill but only change:

I pray that my exuberant, suave and accidental words will move you to shower ferocious blessings down on everyone who reads this benediction.

I pray that you will give them what they don’t even know they want — not just the boons they think they need but everything they’ve always been afraid to even imagine or ask for.

Dear Goddess, You wealthy anarchist burning heaven to the ground:

Many of the divine chameleons out there don’t even know that their souls will live forever. So please use your blinding magic to help them see that they are all wildly creative geniuses too big for their own personalities.

Guide them to realize that they are all completely different from what they think they are and more exciting than they can possibly imagine.

Make it illegal, immoral, irrelevant, unpatriotic and totally tasteless for them to be in love with anyone or anything that’s no good for them.

O Goddess, You who give us so much love and pain mixed together that our morality is always on the verge of collapsing:

I beg you to cast a boisterous love spell that will nullify all the dumb ideas, bad decisions and nasty conditioning that have ever cursed the wise and sexy virtuosos out there.

Remove, banish, annihilate and laugh into oblivion any jinx that has clung to them, no matter how long they’ve suffered from it, and even if they’ve become accustomed or addicted to its ugly companionship.

And please conjure an aura of protection around them so that they will receive an early warning if they are ever about to act in such a way as to bring another hex or plague or voodoo into their lives in the future.

Dear Goddess, sweet Goddess, You sly universal virus with no fucking opinion:

I pray that you will help all the personal growth addicts out there become disciplined enough to go crazy in the name of creation, not destruction.

I pray that you will teach them the difference between oppressive self-control and liberating self-control, awaken in them the power to do the half-right thing when it is impossible to do the totally right thing.

Arouse the Wild Woman within them — even if they’re men.

And please give them bigger, better, more original sins and wilder, wetter, more interesting problems.

Dear Goddess, You pregnant slut who scorns all mediocre longing:

I pray that you will inspire all the compassionate rascals communing with this prayer to love their enemies just in case their friends turn out to be jerks.

Provoke them to throw away or give away all the things they own that encourage them to believe that they are better than anyone else.

Show them how much fun it is to brag about what they cannot do and do not have.

Most of all, Goddess, brainwash them with your freedom so that they never love their own pain more than anyone else’s pain.

Dear Goddess, You psychedelic mushroom cloud at the center of all our brains:

The curiously divine human beings reading this prayer deserve everything they are yearning for and much, much more.

So please bless them with lucid dreams while they are wide awake and solar-energy-operated sex toys that work even in the dark and vacuum cleaners for their magic carpets and a knack for avoiding other people’s hells and their very own 900 number so that everyone has to pay to talk to them and a secret admirer who is not a psychotic stalker.

Dear Goddess, You fiercely tender, hauntingly reassuring, orgiastically sacred feeling that is even now running through all of our soft, warm animal bodies:

I pray that you provide everyone out there with a license to bend and even break all rules, laws and traditions that keep them apart from the things they love.

Show them how to purge the wishy-washy wishes that distract them from their daring, dramatic, divine desires.

And teach them that they can have anything they want if they’ll only ask for it in an unselfish way.

And now dear God of Gods, God beyond all Gods, Girlfriend of God, Teacher of God, Goddess who invented God, I bring this prayer to a close, trusting that in these mysterious moments you have begun to change everyone out there in the exact way they’ve needed to change in order to express their soul’s code.

Amen. Awomen. And glory halle-fucking-lujah.