Monthly Archive: December 2007

Crying in the Wilderness

I’m sure Michael Moore is tearing his hair out these days, listening to
the various Democratic presidential candidates botching the election.

Tom Vilsack, co-chair of Hilary Clinton’s campaign, stated, “Last year,
18,000 Americans died because they didn’t have health insurance.” 
Excuse me.  Not one person has ever died from not having health
insurance.  Many thousands have died from not enough or inadequate
health CARE.  This statement was made on C-SPAN, in a talk with every
major Democratic candidate’s campaign manager at the table, and not one
person disputed it.  NOT ONE.

We KNOW Hillary sold out to the insurance industry.  It’s all over her
declaration of monies received, both for her Senate campaign and her
Presidential campaign.  She is still using the capital she gained by
TRYING to get Universal Health Care to make people believe that she
hasn’t changed… but it’s not true.

Even John Edwards, who in 2003 said he wanted every American to have
the same coverage that every member of Congress has, has only talked
about insurance coverage.

Let me be clear about this.  We are the only nation in the “civilized
world” that does not have government-sponsored universal health CARE. 
The insurance companies do not even exist in most countries; there is
no profit for them to take when everyone is equally served.  Democratic
candidates only want to change how many people are paying insurance
companies (or are being paid for, by the government). 

I guess that’s different from the Republicans; except for Ron Paul,
they don’t even acknowledge that the system is broke.  I guess they
think the insurance companies have enough money already — and I assure
you that is true.

Climbing off the soap box.  Anyone is welcome to use these ideas to light a fire under someone’s ass… except mine, LOL


It has been so peaceful here since Doug left that I forgot to write anything, and have forgotten to keep in touch with people by phone… I called my mother at the rehab facility and talked to her until her cellphone died.

Beth (my 3rd ex-wife) reminded me of a chain e-mail that I ignored.  It stated that if I sent it to at least 20 guys within 10 minutes, I would be flooded with hot new girlfriends, but if I broke the chain, I would get my old wife back.  I NEVER forward these things.

Laura (my 5th and last ex) called me; I won’t disclose the turmoil, but she is going to be single again soon. 

You do the addition.  (Laura says she is NOT old…)


Wrapping Up the Doug Suite

Doug showed up this morning with a police officer, and I helped them get his stuff out of my apartment.  It should be over.  I reminded him that he owed the Asheville Homeless Network $150, and he said in a rather sarcastic voice, “Yeah, well, we’ll talk about that,” to which I replied, uncharacteristically, “I doubt it.” but that was a parting shot.  He is gone, I have my key, he has his stuff.

My last email to him, which was also forwarded to my teacher was:


You have called 11 times today.  You have threatened me,
accused me, and mocked me.  You have not allowed any response from me,
however calm or angry it has been — you hung up after having your
say.  Would you want someone who acted like that living with you? 

I did not, as you put it, kick out a homeless person.  I
refused to allow someone who was openly discourteous to live in my
home.  Your discourtesy made you homeless, not any action of mine.

of your threats was that you would write an editorial to the local
paper “exposing” me “for what I am”.  What I am is a man who allowed
you into his home for 2 weeks, asking nothing but courtesy in return. 
You refused to allow me that courtesy, and you gave me nothing yourself
– no offers of help of any kind.  You borrowed $150 from Asheville
Homeless Network.  I assume you are going to not pay that back,
resulting in theft.  In all the time you were here, I did not raise my
voice to you once until ordering you out of my home.

I am also a
person with many friends.  (I keep those friends through love and
courtesy.)  They have been consulted often through this troubled time,
and they all have said that I was far too gentle with you, too nice. 
Granted, they were not here to witness the situation.

your accusations and assumptions, I have not touched your belongings. 
I will not, however, keep them in my home, and will need to “touch
them” enough to put them out. 

I am sorry if that makes me “evil” in your eyes.  Perhaps you need your eyes checked.


My teacher has responded to this:

Om Namah Shivaye!
You are a noble soul
with pure intentions. Please do not feel bad. You should have no time
for these frivolous happenings. Think:
Lord Shiva is Doer;
Lord Shiva is Enjoyer.
Please remember Lord creates foolishness, Lord takes care of them. You must look inwards and explore – Inner Bliss.
With regards,

As The Doug Turns

When we left our story last, Doug had called me 9 times already.  The sum total was 12, but a couple of those were somewhat lighter.  Also, it turns out that he apparently drove farther than he had gas to get back from… and until someone gives him more money for gas, he can’t get back here.  So I have his stuff packed and ready to go, but am not throwing it outside just yet.

Some good things happened too… just hard to put them down in context.


Doug has called 9 times this morning (knowing I sleep mornings), and while I have had the phone turned off for most of them, the messages left range from guilt-trips to sarcasm to meanness.  He “reminded” me that I just threw out a homeless person.  He doesn’t listen to HIS messages, but I reminded him that I threw out a discourteous person.  I have very few rules about living with me, and all of them refer to courtesy.  If he doesn’t respect me enough to show basic courtesy, what is he doing in my house?

He is using the fact that he was too lazy to take his stuff with him to accuse me of stealing it, or depriving him of it; I have not touched it, and have been in fear of his returning.  I suppose he is accusing me of things he has done, or would do.  I have written my spiritual teacher and informed him of some of this, but not the soap opera daily details.


My roommate, Danny is home now, and has been filled in on the situation
with Doug.  The door is blocked so that it can only be opened from the
inside.  I feel much safer now.


Doug has come home twice now, and pointedly did not read the letter.  After watching him sit for a half hour (after having promised to read it “in a minute”), I became angry enough that I commented on the length of his minutes.  He stated that, well, he did not have his reading glasses (interesting that he had managed to read the screen of his laptop).  I told them that, then, I would read it TO him.  He stated no, that was not necessary.  My comment then was that I would not have bothered to write the letter if I wished him to ignore it, and mentioned the stress levels.  He said, “Oh, the stress you’ve been under?”  Reply: “No, the stress YOU have PUT me under.”  Doug: “I haven’t caused you any stress.”  Me: “I wrote that letter on the premise that you may not have understood the stress you have put me under, but obviously you do not WISH to understand it.  Get out.”  Doug then muttered some other negative things about me, and left — without taking any of his things with him, and still in possession of my door key.  Looks as though there is yet one more confrontation in my future.  Meanwhile, all my friends who have been kept up on this situation think I’m being too easy on him.


My couchguest has been incrementally less respectful and considerate.  I wrote him a letter today outlining his lack of consideration and asking him to leave.  He came in, saw the letter, apparently read the last line.  Has not said a word to me, but has acted as if he is preparing to leave… somehow I get that without him packing or moving a thing.  I hope he leaves soon, the population of this apartment is just too high.

In the Life Sux department, I had received a ticket in September which I could not go to court over due to my foot surgery.  I made several attempts to change the court date, to no avail and with not a single city employee telling me something they COULD do.  So when my birthday came ’round and I needed to renew my license, I did not, thinking there might be a bench warrant out on me and not wanting to spend my birthday in county jail.  I took care of the ticket (it was dismissed) on the 16th.  I received a letter from DMV on the 20th, stating that my license had been suspended and it would cost me an additional $50 to remove the suspension, based on the outstanding ticket (which is no longer outstanding).  Here’s the question: Can you suspend an expired license?  And will I have to pay the $50 to remove the suspension, when the ticket which caused it was dismissed?


Lots of things have been happening the past couple of days. 

I have spoken a couple times with my mother, recuperating from a broken leg in a rehab facility…  also a couple times with my daughter and two grandkids, and bought them each something for Yule.  My last ex-wife and her mother are having much trouble, and are more able to talk to me than before.  If that leads somewhere, I will accept it, and reserve my comments until later.  I’ve mostly been able to rest this weekend, which is good because I haven’t been getting quite enough sleep for a while now.  I’ve had two significant dreams, one of which I got written down, the other of which was too horrible to write down and woke me in mid-sleep, so I grabbed my mala, chanted Om Gam Ganapatayei Namaha until I fell back to sleep, and remained asleep until the phone rang a bit early for me.

I know I often post my dreams.  This one (that I wrote down) was a bit too something for me to be comfortable posting, but I sent it to a few friends and got some good comments.

I’m beginning to calm down about being mmphty-mmph years old now, but my house is too full of people (one roommate and one guest) for me to fully relax.  But I’m doing much better than expected.

John came over tonight to do a load of laundry, and he took me to the newly-opened Ingles store afterward to pick up a few things to munch on.

Guess that’s about it.


I just had a phone call from my spiritual Teacher in New Delhi, Sri Virendra Qazi.  It was wonderful.  He is again planning a trip to the US, and I look forward to meeting him at last.  We have been talking (through Yahoo Messenger, email, and the rare phone call) for at least 3 years now, but we have not yet been able to find funds for me to visit him or for him to come to the US.