Monthly Archive: November 2008

More crappy commercials

I don’t know why I bother with this, but sometimes it can be fun.  These commercials have my goat this week.

Bud Light.  The best thing they can say about it is it’s DRINKABLE?  Hey, so is hemlock!  I guess if Miller Lite has the claims of awards, taste, fewest calories, there’s not much left… but they don’t even try to sell it as being comparable in any way to Bud.  Coors made that mistake, and created a beer that was close enough in taste to their regular beer that, with the other reasons for drinking a light beer, they hardly sell any of their regular beer anymore.  (They also made a really decent low-price beer, Keystone, that only sells in Light… I like regular Keystone better, but since I can’t buy it anymore, who cares?)

Lexus has us comparing the best Christmas present ever with getting a new Lexus… would be nice, except we didn’t have to pay for the present, and we’re paying for the Lexus for the next 6 years…

Hardees (Carl’s Jr. if you’re in the West):  “Guys don’t make biscuits.”  Why the hell not?  I heard this enough times that I tried my hand at it.  Granted, I would have done better with the help of someone who knew what they were doing, not to mention having more tools… the first batch looked good, but I had the wrong flour and didn’t know it, so they were inedible.  I just finished my second batch.  Still taste a bit too salty, maybe I’ll try general purpose flour and cut back on the salt next time.  But they’re biscuits.  Do they look or taste as good as Starrah’s?  Well, no, but they’re made and I’m eating them.  Besides, Starrah has been making biscuits since she was 3.

I have a tendency to react to statements like “Guys don’t …”  I’ve been knitting since I was 12, although not serious about it until the past 4 or 5 years.  I remember my mom teaching me to iron, and her best friend tried to tell me that I didn’t need to know how to do that.  Face it, if I didn’t know how to do a lot of things that “women are supposed to do”, where would I be now?  Someone find me a decent woman to do them, and I might fade back a little, but I’m not going to sit still and be told that I can’t do something because I don’t have a pair of X chromosomes.  (Besides, men created knitting as an outgrowth of net-making, so we have more in our genes for that… we also created the whole clerical trade — remember that for many centuries, only men – clerics – were taught to write, and damned few of them.)

Well, there was another one, but I’m not remembering it and it has not shown in the past 3 hours… must have just been advertising on Fox during the football game.  Ah well, keep your eyes open.

Hugs,
Me

Books, books, books

Some of you may know I’ve been stressing out the past couple weeks over the fact that my employer, Eternal Press, is getting the ability to do Print-On-Demand.  Why this stresses me out is, you have to get a new ISBN number for the new format book.  I therefore had to research all the information I needed to do that, and go to the Canadian ISBN site and apply for numbers.  I’ve run out of numbers several times, but I’m almost done.

Since EP was an Australian company until April 2008, and since Australia’s ISBN agency does not register ISBNs for short stories, my first order of action was to research the old short stories and get *eprint* ISBNs for them… then get print ISBNs for them. 

My next step was to take the books (longer length) from May 2008 – October 2008 that we already had print ISBNs for (we THOUGHT we had a deal to do this), and modify the entries to show the new printer.

OK, now I have the OLD short stories and the NEW novels & novellas.  I also went ahead and got print ISBNs for November and December 2008 books.  Then I had to go research the OLD novels & novellas and the NEW short stories, and get ISBNs for those.  OK, I got halfway done and ran out of numbers again, but I’ll have new numbers on Monday and will get the last 32 done.

All that will be left will be to get print ISBNs for our January and February 2009 books, which I just got eprint ISBNs for (but didn’t know what publication date to use for the print copies — my boss filled me in on that information yesterday).

In the meantime, I finished formatting our 8 December books for FictionWise and uploaded them to our online office.

When I get done with this job, it will be time to collect the January books blurbs and excerpts, which I then turn over to the Senior Editor, who then gets more information and turns them over to our newsletter editor, who then turns it all into our January Newsletter.

If all this has made you sweat, perhaps you would like to be receiving our Newsletter… it comes in PDF format, and is delivered to your email.  I know I can get you copies, and there is probably a place you can go to sign up for them.  Write me and I’ll send you the latest copy I have… I can send several back issues if you like.

Hugs,
Me

Danger, Will Robinson!

I just received a new kind of attack in my email.  It purports to be from PayPal, and states that they have found a problem in my account.  I “need” to download their “Safe tool” to correct the problem.

I know most of you don’t know what a keylogger is, but this is likely to be one.  Every time you enter anything, it transmits every keystroke to the person who has this bit of malware on your system.  If you buy anything online, they have your credit card number.

Some “Safe tool”, huh?

If you get something like this, forward the email to spoof@paypal.com (or if it’s “from” eBay, spoof@ebay.com), and then delete the puppy from your email.

Hugs,
Me

I was beginning to wonder if I had an invitation anywhere to Thanksgiving Dinner, when Lady Rhiannon called yesterday.  It will be great being with my Family.  Diana is going to come pick me up around 3 or 4 pm.

What has happened in each of the past 10 years is that nobody invited me until virtually the last minute, and then I get 3 or 4 invitations.  I always accept the first one… it’s much easier to say, “No, thanks, I already have an invitation” than it is to call someone back and explain why I’m changing my mind.  Even so, this would be my first choice.

I’ve been working my butt off for Eternal Press.  I not only have to keep up with current projects, but we have gotten the ability to go to print with any and all of our books, which means I have to go back and get ISBNs for everything we ever published.  On top of that, we were an Australian company prior to May of 2008, and Australia did not issue ISBN numbers for short stories, so I have to go get ISBNs (Canadian) for those ebooks prior to getting print ISBNs of the same stories.

At this time, I have (a) all the Aussie short stories’ ebook ISBNs, (b) all the Aussie short stories’ print ISBNs, (c) all the books we THOUGHT we were going to print with a few months ago converted over, (d) all the new books, both print and ebook ISBNs, from October through next February.  I still have to get print ISBNs for our shorter books from May through September (we only had planned to go to print with our larger books), and print ISBNs for our larger books prior to May (all the short stories are done, as stated above).

I have been having some setbacks in my mental health, but usually just need a little reboot to get back… I won’t mention my rebooting method except in private.  I did much better the past few days, but getting the Eternal Press databased caught up with the results of all the work just mentioned has brought back some small symptom… I may have to go reboot again, and can’t do that until tomorrow.  Some of the setbacks might be attributed to the 5th Anniversary (earlier this month) of the last time I took psychiatric medications… or maybe another birthday coming up… or maybe just the change in seasons…

Hugs,
Me

The Right to Laugh Party Humanifesto

The Right-To-Laugh Party Humanifesto

We believe that every human has the right to laugh, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness unless of course happiness is a warm gun, in which case some restrictions may apply.

We have the right and duty to laugh at our leaders, particularly those times when their actions are either seriously foolish or foolishly serious. We have the right to help them laugh with each other and at themselves, and if they are incapable of doing that, we have the right to laugh them out of power.

We have the right to laugh at the obscene foolishness of spending so much of our precious livelihood on weapons of deadlihood, and at the utter absurdity of doing the same things that haven’t worked in the past and expecting them to work now and in the future.

We propose creating the office of Supreme Court Jester to encourage citizens to use the light of laughter to illuminate the shadow, especially in those poorly lit corridors of power.

We seek to extend this Right to Laugh all across the globe, especially places where things just aren’t funny.

We propose that the United Nations and all levels of government begin each session with the Hokey Pokey. You put your whole self in – that is commitment. You pull your whole self out – that is detachment. You turn yourself around – and that is transformation and that’s what it s all about.

We believe the problem is serious. But the solution is humorous. It’s a scientific fact. The best way to overcome gravity is with levity. So all those who want to take a vow of levity please rise! Put your hand on your jocular vein, and recite the Right to Laugh Pledge: All for fun and fun for all.

Congratulations! You have now joined farces with the Pro-Laugh movement to raise the laugh force and increase the laugh expectancy on this amazing planet.

May we all wake up laughing, and leave laughter in our wake. For surely, the Farce is with us!

Declared and Absurdified by

Swami Beyondananda

OFFICIAL DISCLAIMER

Although we are enthusiastically pro-laugh, we are pro-choice as well. We respect each and every individual s right to not laugh. If you want to be miserable, go right ahead. Whatever makes you happy.

All for
fun
and fun
for all!

One big party, everyone is invited.

The beast is dying, but it’s not dead yet

The following is my opinion.  It is not a judgment on any individual.

The election of Barack Obama as the next President of the United States is not, as some would have it, the end of racism in our country.  We all hope it is the death knell, but dying organisms stink a lot until you bury them.

America has never dealt with its inherent racism.  It merely stitched the wound closed without treating it, leaving it to fester.  This election opened the wound — hopefully to clean it out and let it heal — but the deep infection is exposed, and it smells awful.  It is up to each of us to pray for the healing, rather than reseal the wound in its untreated condition.

For the first time, I have REAL hope, instead of merely wishes, that we can heal America.  If we can do that, think of what we can do for the rest of the world.  If we do not, I would rather refrain from thinking about what we will do TO the rest of the world.

I am reminded of something I learned while working in wastewater treatment in my youth.  Most treatment ponds tend to attract vegetation and other life.  Since the vegetation tends to grow roots through the sealing layer of the pond, they present a problem, in that the contents of the pond could infiltrate the local groundwater.  So for years, people in the business of wastewater treatment would poison these plants.  What they discovered was that dying plants suck up many times more oxygen than living ones, and most times the whole pond and all the life in it died from not having enough oxygen in the water to breathe.  A dead treatment pond provides no treatment, it just sits there smelling like something died (which it did).  Some states finally passed laws prohibiting this practice… others did not.

If there was ever a time for not only thinking outside the box but destroying the whole damned box, this is it.

I ask for your prayers for everyone.  Whenever any one person is not equal, there is no equality.  And there is SO MUCH we could do together.

I hope I’m preaching to the choir.  And I further hope the choir takes the word out into the world.

Hugs,
Me

I walked past my fish’s bowl on Thursday, and it seemed kinda brownish… since I had just changed it on Tuesday, it seemed odd… found him decomposing on the bottom of the bowl, don’t have a clue why he wasn’t floating.  Waaaah, I loved that fish. 

Well, today I called the two closest pet stores to me, and they both had bettas.  I went to the closest one, thinking that if they didn’t have one I liked I could catch the bus to the next one… but they did, I have a beautiful new betta buddy named Rainbow.  He doesn’t have any red to speak of, kinda rare in a betta, but he has lots of blue and yellow and (first time I’ve seen this in a betta) GREEN!.

Hugs,
Me