One of my ex-girlfriends had started talking to me, and it had begun to sound like most of our issues had been dealt with. After getting pretty far into a relationship with her emotionally, things started going south again. I had to break it off last night. My head was spinning, I was feeling attacked, I was put on the defensive, and was being told all those things didn’t matter or I misunderstood.
I don’t know who is wrong, and I don’t care. My job is to keep myself centered, not have to recover from frequent cognitive dissonances. I have to take care of myself first. If I hurt her, well, we’ve been through this before, she can tell herself she should have known better. I don’t like hurting anyone, and it seems more and more that I need to stay out of ALL relationships. I can’t help feeling lonely though.
Blanket statement: If I’ve hurt you, I’m sorry. I’m in no shape to be in a relationship (love, emotions, sex, living together, roommates, whatever) and would appreciate it if you all would stop trying to entice me into one.