I Eat Lots of Things
Harry Smothers
(Tune: "I Don't Eat Animals" by Melanie Safka)
(also cf. "I Eat Up Animals" by R.I. Benefiche)

"Life is a food chain. Watch me uplink." - H.S.


I was just thinking about the way it's supposed to be,
I'll eat the plants and the fruit from the trees,
A little bit of steak and a little bit of cheese,
'Cause I eat bacteria, and bacteria eat me.

I don't eat white flour, white sugar makes them bloom
Oh, I don't mind growth, but they've got to watch the room.
A little bit of yogurt, a tub of cottage cheese,
Oh, I eat bacteria, and my symbiotes love me.

You know, I eat bacteria, 'cause I love 'em, you see;
I eat bacteria, there ain't nothing dead in me.
A little bit of yogurt, a tub of cottage cheese,
But I eat bacteria and my symbiotes love me.

Smoked salmon is wonderful, beef jerky is great,
These meats are so low in fat they hold down my weight.
They're better than sausages or foods friend in fat,
But I don't smoke any plants, and my lungs love that.

You know, I don't smoke any plants, 'cause I love 'em, you see,
I don't smoke any plants, no nicotine or THC.
A little bit of jerky, a slice of smoked cheese,
But I don't smoke any plants, and my lungs love me.

I really don't mind eating my animal friends,
'Cause life feeds on life, and it will 'til the end.
A steak or a burger, some fish sticks or seeds,
But I don't eat animals before I ask "please".

You know, I eat most anything, 'cause I'm living, you see,
I eat most anything, I'm omnivorous and free!
I wouldn't harm an animal, 'cept maybe some fleas,
And I don't eat animals before I ask "please".




Written 1993 by Gerald L. Bliss.

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