Mary Ellen-or Rigby
by Harry Smothers
(Tune: "Mary Ellen Carter" by Stan Rogers, with apologies)
(NOTE: Lee Gold recently posted a song, Eleanor Rigby Again, which featured the now-buried Ms. Rigby as a vampire. She ended the song with the words, "RISE AGAIN!" I'm sorry, but only one tune could possibly have leapt into my head.)
She was laid down last October in a pouring, driving rain
Mackenzie had been drinking -- that old priest, he felt no pain
Too close to Halloween for it to be a Mortal blow
But we had Eleanor Rigby settled low
There was just us five around her when they finished rolling sod
We'd worked like Hell to Save her, to bring her back to God
But the broken earth around the grave, it caused us to proclaim
It would not be long before she'd rise again!
Old Mackenzie wrote her off, not one novena would he say
"She lived twenty-four good years before He took her soul away,
"But Jesus paid the price for her, so let her rest below."
Then he blessed us all and told us we should go.
But we prayed for her all winter; some days around the clock
She was still our only sister, and blood you cannot knock.
And when we saw the opened earth, it caused us to proclaim
That we knew Eleanor Rigby would rise again!
She was done in by a stranger man who said he was a friend
They went out for a bite, and there she met her sorry end
And with all the rice that she picked up to slow her trip "below",
The Devil came to claim her even so.
But we've pumped in gas, said the Mass, sunk iron pilings down
Enclosed the grave with silver plates, put garlic all around,
But tomorrow night she hits the air, no matter where the blame,
And we'll all see Eleanor Rigby rise again!
For we couldn't leave her there, you see, to crumble into dust
But vampires are a different thing, so we'd do what we must
And the somber, drunken priest who left her in a sorry grave,
He won't be dying just from tooth decay
And you, to whom publicity is just another shill
You're all such lovely targets for our Eleanor to kill
It's time to grab a juicy stake, a mallet, and your brain
Forget the interviews, just put her down again!
(Repeat final chorus)
copyright ©1994 by Gerald Bliss (11/30). Usual disclaimer applies.