Monthly Archive: February 2003

Hi, me!  It’s me again!

I’ve been really insecure about Cindie, and there’s absolutely no reason to be.  She is totally in love with me, and I just am blowing it with the insecurity thing.  Part of it is that I’m going through a medication change again, part of it is that she left early last visit due to a bad back and she’s paying the bill left by previous visitors.  I gotta get over it.

I just spent the morning taking Priscilla around to pay her bills.  She is a really nice lady who has been having some health problems lately, I’ve visited her in the hospital as much as I have in her home in the past year.  It was good to see her again — and she expressed concern over Julie’s health, not her own, which shows what kind of person she is.

I went to my NAMI CARE meeting last night and had a good time.  Chim runs a good group, even if there’s only a few people.  We had a new person there.  I talked about my problems, insecurities, new medications, etc., and listened attentively to the others in the group, hopefully helped a bit.

Payday is tomorrow or Monday, I have to catch up on a couple of bills and send off for the Serenity.  I hope I’m not placing too much expectation on how it is going to work, but it would be terrific if it did for me what the Manitou Springs spring water did.

Well, my day is still ahead of me.  I’m up rather early, for me, and might have some more things to say later.  Hugs and blessings to all reading this.

Talk to me later!

I just don’t talk to myself enough.  Gee, I wonder if I could convice my therapist of that? LOL

Well, I saw the doctor today.  She wouldn’t listen to the Serenity information, just not something she was equipped to hear.  She is taking me off Effexor, though, and starting me on Lexapro.  I hate to be non-compliant, but if the Lexapro doesn’t work, that’s what I’m going to have to be.

Five more days and my honey will be back here for Round Two.  I hope I can get the place a bit cleaner before she gets here, I didn’t know that she thought it was a wreck until we talked last night.  Cindie is really worried about not being able to take care of me if her back goes out on her, and it’s not fair that she should have to.  I can do it myself.  Same for cooking, she seems to think that I’m incapable of doing so, and it’s just not true.  OK, so part of the problem is that she’s used to having to DO everything for her men, and feels she is not worth much unless she is doing that.  But I should have done more to make my place livable so she wouldn’t have had to feel so much that way. 

I got the music finished for “Columbia”, and sent it off to Lee Gold at Xenofilkia.  Had to write it up in two different programs, one did a good job of placing the chords and another the lyrics… hope I can get the money to register one or the other, and get rid of the shareware crippling features.  It’s not my best tune, especially the verse, because I had to keep ducking the tune of “Memorial” by Anne Harlan Prather, which was going through my head the whole time I was writing it.  But it’s done.

My fish, Byte, is doing swimmingly.  I’ve had him for almost 3 years now, I have no idea how long I can expect him to live.  He’s a betta.  He is very attentive, although he does not like to be petted.  I do a fair job of taking care of him, and he does an excellent job of staying alive, even when I go away for a long weekend.

CERES meeting tonight.  Have to print out the Minutes of the last meeting.  We’re doing pretty well, and I’m very glad to be a part of it.  NAMI CARE tomorrow night, it will be good to see Chim again.

I guess that’s it for now, talk to me later.

Hi, it’s me again.

Cindie spent the weekend, or most of it.  It was a great time, but she just left early under threat of lousy weather if she left any later.  She says she’ll be back in two weeks.  snif.  Miss her already.  When she comes back, I will have a better idea of what will happen between us.

We went to dinner with John at Bono’s Barbecue last night, really good food.  Over the weekend, I forced (hah!) Cindie to watch my two favorite movies, which she hadn’t seen… “The Incredibly True Adventure of Two Girls In Love” and “Benny and Joon”.  She really enjoyed them both, as I knew she would.

I got a lot of practice in on my music, and even wrote a new song Friday night, my first original song in over 2 years.  I already sent the lyrics in to Xenofilkia, Lee probably won’t publish until I send in the music.  Cindie suggested that there might be music paper I could download online, and sure enough, the University of Virginia had a site that I could pick my staves and print it from Acrobat.  I should get to work on writing the music, so I can get it published and get ready for Trinoc in August.

The local Office Depot got a great buy on 17″ monitors, I think I can manage to steal some money from somewhere (j/k) and get one.

I guess that’s it for now.  Talk to me later.

Hugs,
Moss

Hi, it’s me again!

I just got offline with Alba Linette, she’s such a sweetie.  She has asked Cindie and me to adopt her… LOL

I’ve heard a little back from CERES on sponsoring me to the workshop for the Pagan Prison Ministry, so far it looks positive.

Cindie is on the road right now, she should be here real soon!  I’m so excited, can you tell?!?!?!  This is going to be a fabulous weekend.

There’s a chili cookoff at the Grove Arcade this Saturday, $5 for all the chili you can eat, I’m for it!  Nice, healthy, balanced food, good for weight loss …. NOT!

I have tried to get into an exercise schedule, so far no good.  I hope Cindie helps me this weekend.  It would be good for both of us.

I met with Shaun, my therapist, yesterday, and talked about the change I would like to make.  He seemed fairly supportive of it, especially since I was not going behind their backs and have, indeed, tried almost everything in the book.  We’ll meet with the doctor next Wednesday and talk about it some more.

Hmmm, maybe I can vacuum a little before Cindie gets here… gotta run, talk to me later!  Bye!

Hugs,
Moss

OH boy.  Only two more days and Cindie will be here.  That is foremost in my thoughts.  I can hardly wait…

I drove Julie on some errands today… put some gas in the car… spent hours and hours online with Cindie and Alba Linette… answered lots of email.  My webcam works great, as long as I’m on Palnet; Yahell just doesn’t like networks.

I have applied to work in the Pagan Prison Ministry, through WARD (Wiccans Against Religious Discrimination).  I’ve applied to CERES for funding to go to the workshop I need to qualify for this program.  There is a need for someone in WNC to be doing this, and it’s something I have felt a calling for.  I hope everything works out.

More contact with Irysa.  I wish I was over her, it has been well over 4-1/2 years already…  We’re talking again.

Still haven’t heard from my parents, hope everything went well in Houston.

If Shaun doesn’t cancel me again, I see my therapist tomorrow, and can begin discussing changing my therapy to Serenity (http://www.finderenitynow.com).

John should be home any time now.  Guess I’ll wrap this up.  Talk to me later!

Hugs,
Moss

Well, I’ve been letting my blog slide…  Last night was Circle with my coven.  Sapphire Skye and MoonDolphin showed up, we held Circle at Luna Horsefeathers’ house.  It was nice, even with all the mud.  Freezing rain.  Dark roads.  It was fun, but I’m still cleaning my shoes…

I’m getting excited, my Cindie is coming for a visit on Thursday!!!!!  I’ve been trying to get the place straightened up a bit.  ohboyohboyohboy

I haven’t heard from my folks since they called me from Houston, where they were visiting my daughter and my new grandbaby, Moses Kiah Bailey (born January 9, 2003).

Otherwise, I’ve just been spending hours and hours on Yahoo! Messenger with Cindie… we’re very much in love already… we’re starting to look for land and maybe a house in the Asheville area.  I can’t wait to begin my new life with her!

I got a short e-mail from my Chinese buddy, He Chao, he’s back at the University in Chongqing and getting ready to be worked to death, they give them so much work in University over there.  I hope he does well.

John goes on being the best buddy in the world.  I don’t know what I would do without him.  I’m the only friend he has, so we go to movies, dinner, drinks, the whole 9 yards.  Our computers are networked.  I pay half the cable bill to use his cable modem.  A better friend would be hard to find.

I have to pick up Julie from work around 5:30 today, that will be good as I’m getting low on gas.  She’s a sweetie, loves me to death, gives me gas money for taking her places, sometimes buys me dinner or gifts.  Another great friend.

Everything is so rosy in my life… you’d think I was a different person.  Well, I am, and it’s all Cindie’s fault!  I love you, Cindie!!!!!!!!

Enough blogging for now, I’ll talk to me later.

Hugs,
Moss

Well, I’ve been letting my blog slide…  Last night was Circle with my coven.  Sapphire Skye and MoonDolphin showed up, we held Circle at Luna Horsefeathers’ house.  It was nice, even with all the mud.  Freezing rain.  Dark roads.  It was fun, but I’m still cleaning my shoes…

I’m getting excited, my Cindie is coming for a visit on Thursday!!!!!  I’ve been trying to get the place straightened up a bit.  ohboyohboyohboy

I haven’t heard from my folks since they called me from Houston, where they were visiting my daughter and my new grandbaby, Moses Kiah Bailey (born January 9, 2003).

Otherwise, I’ve just been spending hours and hours on Yahoo! Messenger with Cindie… we’re very much in love already… we’re starting to look for land and maybe a house in the Asheville area.  I can’t wait to begin my new life with her!

I got a short e-mail from my Chinese buddy, He Chao, he’s back at the University in Chongqing and getting ready to be worked to death, they give them so much work in University over there.  I hope he does well.

John goes on being the best buddy in the world.  I don’t know what I would do without him.  I’m the only friend he has, so we go to movies, dinner, drinks, the whole 9 yards.  Our computers are networked.  I pay half the cable bill to use his cable modem.  A better friend would be hard to find.

I have to pick up Julie from work around 5:30 today, that will be good as I’m getting low on gas.  She’s a sweetie, loves me to death, gives me gas money for taking her places, sometimes buys me dinner or gifts.  Another great friend.

Everything is so rosy in my life… you’d think I was a different person.  Well, I am, and it’s all Cindie’s fault!  I love you, Cindie!!!!!!!!

Enough blogging for now, I’ll talk to me later.

Hugs,
Moss

Another day, another blog.

I picked up my friend Julie today.  Julie is one of my closest friends.  I took her to her bank, to pay her phone bill, to pay her cable bill, we went to eat at Nick’s Subs and Sandwiches (we both had the Nickburger Combo, a cheesburger on a pita), and then I took her to the hospital to visit a sick friend and dropped her groceries at home.

I came home and showed my old Toyota to a guy in the apartment building, and agreed to sell it to him for $400.

Then it was time to go online and talk to my beloved Cindie.  I can’t tell you how much in love I am with this woman.  People say you can’t be in love with someone you haven’t met, but they’re wrong.  She is everything in the world to me.  Cindie will be coming for a visit weekend after next, and then we’ll REALLY see sparks fly!  Call it a belated Valentine’s Day.  I could talk to her for hours, some of it is discussion of things that matter to us, some of it is helping each other, some of it is just talking about what has hurt us in the past and we know won’t come between us.  On top of everything else, I know that this is one woman my parents even will be proud to call their daughter, which will probably be a first.  OK, so she’s a pagan like me; that hasn’t stopped them from loving me, shouldn’t be a problem here either.

I guess it’s time for bed.  I still haven’t gotten laundry done, and I need to pick Julie up from work tomorrow… don’t know if that means 5:30 or 7:30 pm yet, so I’d better get started early on the laundry…

Happy blogging!

Hugs,
Moss

Well I believe I have met The Woman For Me, in capital letters.  She lives in southern Kentucky, and her name is Cindie.  Unlike most of the women I have been allowing myself to meet, she is older than I am, less than 3 years but older nonetheless.  She is a solitary Pagan, and lives with two of her adult children and their spouse/significant others, at least for the time being.  I just talked to her on the phone, and she sounds even better than I expected… online, we read each others’ minds to the point that it’s almost spooky; on the phone, we kinda just sat there and stared into each others’ eyes, which was strange since we couldn’t really see each other.  This shows real promise.

My ex-wife Laura and her mom sent me a really cute multi-colored hippo with a valentine’s heart for Valentine’s Day, he is sooooo cute!  She also e-mailed me pictures of her, she is getting so much thinner that she is starting to look like she did back in school.  I’m praying for you, Laura, like you asked.

Starting to get ready for Esbat, this Sunday at Luna Horsefeathers’ house.  Got to put some more holy water in the PortaPagan.  Need to send out a reminder to the coven.

Heard back from Irysa.  The poor creature still loves me… can’t blame her, I still love her.  Never had a chance of working.  We’re too different, and the age difference was the least of our problems.

Spent some time with Harry at WNCAP about doing some new things to the WNCAP website (http://main.nc.us/WNCAP), some of which will be easy but hard to maintain, some of which will be hard to do but no sweat to keep up.  Nothing in the middle, haha.

Well, I think my sweetie just logged back online, so I will go talk to her.  Please let me know if you’re reading this, and any comments you have.

Hugs,
Moss

Today was a day off for my neighbor, John, and as usual he took me out to breakfast (5:30 pm) and a movie, with drinks afterward.  We went to East Buffet, because he likes the sushi there.  It was kinda heavy for an early meal, but I can’t complain, John pays for all these outings.  I’m his only friend, and he knows that he can’t be totally solitary.

We went to see that how to lose your boyfriend in 10 days, whatever the title was.  When we got there, John tried to give the ticket taker his frequent-eater card from East Buffet instead of his ticket, they’re about the same size.  The movie was hysterical, but I gotta lose some pounds — the seat I was sitting in broke toward the end of the movie, almost dumping me on the ground.  I suppose if the movie were boring it might not have broken…

So now I’m blogging again before going online to chat with my friends.  I have a new online sweetie-prospect, an Englishwoman who lives in Myrtle Beach SC and feels totally out of place there (who wouldn’t?).  I’m looking forward to talking with someone who can write and speak the language, it’s pretty rare around here… LOL

Well, that’s about it for now.  Talk to me later!

Hugs,
Moss