Why we love kids

NUDITY

I was
driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a
woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved.  She was stark
naked!  As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout
from the back seat, “Mom! That lady isn’t wearing a seat belt!”

OPINIONS

On
the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from
his mother. The note read, “The opinions expressed by this child are
not necessarily those of his parents.”

MORE NUDITY

A
little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women’s locker
room.  When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies
grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in
amazement, and then asked, “What’s the matter, haven’t you ever seen a
little boy before?”

POLICE

It
was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the
station.  As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake began
barking. I saw a little boy staring in at me.  “Is that a dog you got
back there?” he asked.  “It sure is,” I replied. Puzzled, the boy
looked at me and then towards the back of the van.  Finally he asked,
“What’d he do?”

ELDERLY

While
working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins,
I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. The
various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers, and
wheelchairs unfailingly intrigued her.  One day I found her staring at
a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass.  As I braced myself for the
inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, “The
tooth fairy will never believe this!”

DRESS-UP

A
little girl was watching her parents dress for a party.  When she saw
her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, “Daddy, you shouldn’t wear that
suit.”  “And why not, darling?” he asked.  “Because it always gives you a headache the next morning.”

SCHOOL

A
little girl had just finished her first week of school. “I’m just
wasting my time,” she said to her mother. “I can’t read, I can’t write,
and they won’t let me talk!”

BIBLE

A
little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he
fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the
Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it.  What he saw was an
old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.  “Mama, look what
I found!” the boy called out. ” What have
you got there, dear?” his mother asked.  With astonishment in the young
boy’s voice, he answered, “I think it’s Adam’s underwear!”

Comment (1)

  1. crescentwitch

    HaHa! Good Ones!
    Love, Ashlee aka Alahmorah

    Reply

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