Customer talking to Tech Support:

Customer: I’m not very technical, but I think I am ready to install now. What do I do first?

Tech Support: The first step is to open HEART. Have you located your HEART?

Customer: Yes I have, but there are several programs running right now. Is it okay to install while they are running?

Tech Support: What programs are running?

Customer: Let me see… I have PASTHURT.EXE, LOWESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT.COM running right now.

Tech Support: No problem. LOVE.EXE will automatically erase
PASTHURT.EXE from your current operating system. It may remain in your
permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. 
LOVE.EXE will eventually overwrite LOWESTEEM.EXE with a module of its
own called HIGHESTEEM.EXE However, you have to completely turn off
GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM. Those programs prevent LOVE.EXE from
being properly installed in the first place.  Can you turn those
off. please?

Customer: I don’t know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support: Go to your Start menu and run FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as
many times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM have been
completely erased.

Customer: Okay, now I’ve done that. WOW… LOVE has started installing itself automatically. Is that normal?

Tech Support: Yes it is. You should receive a message that says it will
reinstall for the life of your HEART. Do you see that message?

Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely installed already?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program.
You need to begin connecting to other HEARTS in order to get the

Customer: Oops… I have an error message already. What should I do?

Tech Support: What does the message say?

Customer: It says “ERROR 412 – PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS”. What does that mean?

Tech Support: Don’t worry, that’s a common problem. It means that the
LOVE program is set up to run on external HEARTS but has not yet been
run on your HEART.  It is one of those complicated programming
things, but in non-technical terms it means – “you have to ‘LOVE’ your
own machine before it can “LOVE” others.”

Customer: So what should I do?

Tech Support: Can you find the directory called “SELF-ACCEPTANCE”?

Customer: Ummm… yes, I see it now.

Tech Support: Excellent… you are getting good at this!

Customer: Thank you.

Tech Support: You’re welcome. Please, right-click on the following
files and then copy them to the “MYHEART” directory: 
GOODNESS.DOC.  The system will overwrite any conflicting files and
begin patching any faulty programming.

Also, you need to delete SELFCRITIC.EXE from all directories, and then
empty your recycle bin afterwards to make sure it is completely gone…
and never comes back.

Customer: Got it! Hey… My HEART is filling up with really neat
files.  SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now and it shows
that WARMTH.COM, PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are duplicating
themselves all over the place!

Tech Support: Now LOVE is installed… and running. You should be able to handle it from here. One more thing before I go…

Customer: Yes?

Tech Support: LOVE is freeware. Be sure to share it and its
various modules to everybody you can. They will in turn share it with
other people and they will return some really neat modules back to you.

Customer: I will. Thank you so very much for your help.

Tech Support: My pleasure. Someone helped me too when I was new at all of this.  Have a great day!

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