I just did the hardest thing in the world for me. I asked Andarea to leave, and gave her until tomorrow night to be gone. Of course she guilt-tripped me. But I stuck to it. She has lost the pregnancy and is bleeding pretty badly. But I have been used by her over and over again, and my life has been constant turmoil since she got here, and I am about to break down and need to go to the hospital and DO NOT WANT THAT. I am not going to sacrifice my health for hers. She has been on the street for most of the past 15 years, she knows how to cope.
I know I haven’t kept you up on all this. She moved here at the end of August with her “brother”. Within a couple days she asked me to marry her. Despite everything I tried to do, we could not get along. Words of love from me were ignored, and words of pain were taken as a personal attack on her. Then, last week, she asked to have another boyfriend for certain purposes, essentially opening up the relationship. I told her that I had done that in the past, and that it always meant that I got shorted and ignored. She promised she wouldn’t do that. I met the guy she had in mind, and like him. But within 8 hours she had broken up with me — and required me to house him as well as herself and her brother. I told her one day, maybe two — last night was 3. On top of that, last night her legal husband came to town looking for her, and I had to house him as well.
No more. They are leaving. Tonight and tomorrow night, Andarea and Andy ONLY are welcome; after tomorrow night, my apartment is my own.
I have been crying most of the time for the past two days, and the past month I’ve shed more tears of fear and safety than I can recall ever doing. I know that it will hurt me to hurt her like this, it has, it does hurt me. But her staying here hurts me worse, and I will NOT go back on drugs for someone else’s health.
I can’t remember if I ever kicked someone out of my life. I have been kicked out a lot… but many times I’ve stayed with someone I could not continue in a relationship with, just to not feel the pain of total rejection.
Please pray for me. I will be all right. And I will not be used anymore by this person or group.
Hugs,
Me
hey man. u dont know me. but ive just read all your entrys on here attempting to feel what and who you are. from what ive read i cannot possibly make any call at all. I only can say that i wish you love and laughter only in your life, thats all i can do sir, but i do it willingly. peace be with you, trust in yourself. nothing you do is right or wrong. subjective reality is king.be safe brother.-p