Monthly Archive: September 2007

Songs in Dreams

I know I didn’t post the other dream I had… I really don’t post ALL of them… but had another dream last night… sort of a pagan gathering/SCA event/Renaissance fair type setting, which I was performing at (among other things that went on in the dream).

Now, I often find myself singing a song in my dreams, usually one I don’t know in real life… and usually, if I remember enough to write it down, a very mediocre song on this plane.  But twice now in about a week, I have found myself singing one of my own (already written) songs … and both times, it was “Blood Love”, my spookiest song… give me a chill to sing it…  is this some kind of sign that I should get a recording of it on the Web?  Or just that whoever runs my sleeping mind likes the song?


Night haunts

Margaret again.  While the last few dreams were not about her, I had a feeling in the dream that this was the third consecutive dream about her.  She just doesn’t want to stay dead, LOL.  In this dream, she was stuck in a nursing job with no chance of advancement, and was offered a position which would eventually result in a Physician’s Assistant position.  She liked her current job, but I talked her into the new position, so she agreed to keep her old job AND take the new one, making up a schedule where she covered for each of the other nurses at her old job while working the new one full time.  And later in the dream things were not going so well at the new job, each of the doctors she worked for had some problem with her that they weren’t talking to her about.  My role in this dream was limited (at least the character who was “me” in the dream just sort of had an occasional “advisory” position rather than having the dream focused on “me”).  And throughout the dream, both Margaret and I were well aware that she was dead, she just didn’t want to stop working.  The others in the dream, however, were not aware of it.  Note: In real life, Margaret was a legal assistant, and nearly finished her law degree before an aneurism took her out, so there is no chance that this dream was dealing with her… now to figure out what part of me it is talking about.


Another dream…

I had just moved to a small place in the deep South, and just gotten a job as a clerk somewhere.  I then met a guy who was part of a band I liked, except he had left the band because he didn’t feel he belonged, was just being used.  I understood that.  he got an invitation to rejoin the band, and I encouraged him to try… and I went with him, just ignoring the new job, figuring I could take unpaid leave for a week.  We got in an empty boxcar, and then a train pulled up and picked us up, taking us West somewhere.  When we got there, a party was going on, and I started looking for my usual, a woman who wants to BE WITH me.  One woman looked like a possible, and she started getting close, then just took me to a empty room, started to take off her pants, and said, “OK, make it quick.”  I said no, that was not what I wanted.  Had trouble explaining the concept of long-term relationship to her.  She thought it didn’t sound like much fun, and I couldn’t explain the fun of belonging to someone, so I went back to the party room.  Another woman seemed interested/interesting, and I got to talk to her some, but never seemed to be able to get close (it was as if she was linterally wearing boxes around herself).  We had some good talks, I even talked about using my Culdee haircut as camouflage among the Southern Baptists at home (i.e., being a “weird” Christian was better than not being a Christian, and they left me alone), but the “boxes” never came off.  It also came out that, since I had come to the party with that other guy, people thought he and I were “together”, meaning that I was gay.  I laughed that off, but that didn’t change some perceptions.  The dream ended with me preparing to go back “home” and get back to my job, alone still.  This being a dream, not all the pieces fit together well, and I never found out how the other guy fared in HIS quest to be “together” with his band.

I have been having more good dreams lately (“good” meaning I remember them long enough to write them down, not just that they seem to have some significance, though there is that, too)… I take that as a good sign.


I was notified yesterday that a second “Internet Radio Station” at has picked up my song, “Mother, Forgive Them”.  Goodness, the song has been out there since 1998, with the same poor recording… this is the first notice it has gotten other than locally. 


A Definition of Unconditional Love
by Sandy Stevenson

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I love as you are as you seek to find your own special way to relate to
the world, or the way you feel that is right for you. It is important
that you are the person you want to be and not someone that I or others
think you should be.

I realize that I cannot know what is best
for you although perhaps sometimes I think I do. I’ve not been where
you have been, viewing life from that angle you have, I do not know
what you have chosen to learn how you have chosen to learn it with whom
or in what time period. I have not walked life looking through your
eyes so how can I know what you need.

I allow you to be in the
world without a thought or word of judgment from me about the deeds you
undertake. I see no error in the things you say and do, in this place
where I am. I see that there are many ways to perceive and experience
the different facets of our world. I allow without reservation the
choices you make in each moment.

I make no judgment of this
for if I were to deny your right to evolution than I would deny that
right to myself and all others. To those who would choose a way I
cannot walk, while’st I may not choose to add my power and my energy to
this way, I will never deny you the gift of love that God has bestowed
within me for all creation, as I love you so I shall be loved, as I
sow, so I shall reap.

I allow you the universal right of free
will to walk your own path, creating steps or to sit a while if that is
what is right for you. I will make no judgment of these steps, whether
they are large or small, nor light or heavy or that they lead up or
down, for this is just my viewpoint. I see you do nothing and judge it
to be unworthy and yet it may be that you bring great healing as you
stand blessed by the light of God.

I cannot always see the
higher picture of divine order. For it is the inalienable right of all
life to choose their own evolution and with great love I acknowledge
your right to determine your future. In humility I bow to the
realization that the way I see is best for me does not have to mean
that it is also right for you. I know that you are led as I am
following the inner excitement to know your own path.

I know
that the many races, religions, customs, nationalities and beliefs
within our world bring us great richness and allow us the benefit of
teachings of such diversedness. I know we each learn in our own unique
way in order to bring that love and wisdom back to the whole. I know
that if there were only one way to do something, there would need to be
only one person. I will not only love you if you behave in a way I
think you should, or believe in those things I believe in, I understand
you are truly my brother and sister though you may have been born in a
different place and believe in another God than I.

The love I
feel is for all of Gods world. I know that every living thing is part
of God and I feel a love deep with every person, and all tree, and
flower, every bird, river, ocean and for all the creatures in all the
world. I live my life in loving service being the best me I can
becoming wiser in the perfection of divine truth, becoming happier in
the joy of unconditional love.


(I awoke around 7:30 in the morning with this in my head… those of you who know me know how bloody early that is for me…)

was at a Gathering with my Family.  I didn’t recognize anyone, but did
not feel out of place.  After a good bit of things had gone on, we were
apparently reading from a new book that was outlining a new way of
doing things, and were taking it seriously as though it were The Way We
Were Going To Do Things Now.  When it got to be my turn to read, I read
one short section and then lost my place.  Lady Rhiannon asked me to
read “numbers … to …” and I was not around those numbers.  I asked
her what page we were on, and she asked me instead how I would make
“bartholemew wine” for a ritual.  Having never heard of an herb called
“bartholemew”, but assuming it was an herb, I could think of a couple
ways of making a decoction of it and then mixing it with wine, or just
adding the herb beforehand to already-made wine (I did not think of
making the wine originally with “bartholemew” in the dream), but was
still lost in the text.  Lady Rhiannon indicated that it was in the
text, but would not give me the page number.  I gathered she was asking
for me to use my special knowledge as an elder, and was flustered by
not knowing about this particular herb but not particularly put out, as
I know Lady Rhiannon is not book-bound in real life and would use this
type of question to anyone.  I awoke from my dream, and am typing this
prior to doing a Web search for this herb, if indeed it exists.  If
not, well, it was a dream, and if it was a Significant Dream it might
be saying that it is time for me to increase my knowledge of herbalism.

of Web search:  There is no herb called “bartholemew” … but there was
a wine in 2003 in the Willamette Valley of Oregon, made of blending 23
different local vintners’ 2003 vintage Pinot noir.  One of the
vintners, Bryce Bagnall, came up with the idea when he found out he had
ALS; the different vintages were donated and blended, and the result
was bottled and sold at $25 per bottle with all proceeds going to the
Bryce Bagnall Fund, which (along with other later fundraisers)
purchased a wheelchair which allowed Bryce to continue working in his
winery in 2004 and donated funds to ALS research.  Details may be found
at, which also
included the following Background Story:

“The first St.
Bartholomew’s wine was a single barrel (25 cases) of 2002 Gamay Noir
from Brick House Vineyards, released Memorial Weekend 2003.
Owner/winemaker Doug Tunnell got the inspiration for the label when he
was leaving an SOB gathering at the Dundee Bistro one evening and saw
Bryce and Marcia Bagnall pulling out of the parking lot in their little
white Miata convertible with ‘Bart’ on the license plate. ‘Who’s Bart?’
he called after them. ‘The patron saint of neurological disorders,’
they called back, waving over their shoulders as they drove off towards
the vineyards. Doug described the scene to a friend, artist Jane
Russell, who created the label depicting the saint himself driving off
in the little red Bart car as her contribution to the Bryce Bagnall

Ordering the wine is confusing — the page says $135 for
a 12-bottle case but is only selling 6 bottles for $150.  All proceeds
other than shipping costs (by UPS) are given to Bryce.

This being the case (ooh, unintentional bad pun), I certainly hope this dream did NOT mean that someone in my Family has ALS…

[Edited to add:]

just did further research, and found there is “St. Bartholemew’s Tea”,
which is another name for yerba mate tea… which is good for,
according to,

  1. induces mental clarity
  2. improves digestion
  3. regulates appetite
  4. increases endurance
  5. sustains energy levels
  6. boosts the immune system
  7. helps relieve allergies
  8. detoxifies the blood

There is more medicinal information at that website.

Certainly less alarming than the thought of ALS, but in the dream it
was MY idea to make the tea first… Lady Rhiannon asked me how to make
the WINE…


I just finished the busiest week of the year so far.  Had a couple interesting days dealing with The System, and a couple more days helping others deal with The System…  given out lots of money for bus tickets and housing and various and sundry things.  Tried to relax today, but didn’t quite make it.  Maybe tomorrow.


Moss on radio!

song, “Mother, Forgive Them”, has been added to a “radio station” on …  one of only 64 songs on that station, with popular
groups such as Emerald Rose and Inkubus Sukkubus having several
selections each.  I *think* I get paid for people playing this… not
sure, but who cares?

Here is the message I received.  Please spread the news as widely as possible.


Congratulations, one of your songs has been added to a SoundClick

song added: Mother, Forgive Them
station title: pagan chants and more
station URL:

September is UP!

Those of you who follow my blog know that I have been writing a “monthly” column for for well over a year now, entitled “Door to the Beyond: Paganism and Mental Health”.  My new article is up, which is a follow-up to Alex’s great guest article last month.

I am open to suggestions… when I started this article I had clear things to say, now it’s mostly just stream-of-consciousness writing.  To date I have been amazed at how well my articles read when I go back to them, I must be a better writer than I thought…  I hope that trend continues.