Why Geeks Make Better Boyfriends/Husbands
(Stolen from Craigslist)
1.) While geeks and nerds may be awkward, they’re well-meaning 9 out
of 10 times. That smooth dude with the sly grin and the spider hands?
Wonder what HIS intentions are… plus, I’ve never had a geek guy not
call me when he said he would. Score major points THERE.
2.) They’re useful. In this tech-savvy world, it’s great to have a
b/f who can make your laptop, desktop, and just about anything else
that plugs into a wall behave itself.
3.) They’re more romantic than they’re given credit for. Ok true,
their idea of romance might be to make up a spiffy web-page with all
the reasons why they love you, with links to pics of you and sonnets
and such… but hey. It lasts longer than flowers, plus you can show your
friends.
4.) Due to their neglected status, there are plenty to choose from.
You like ‘em tall and slender? There are plenty of geeks/nerds who are.
You like ‘em smaller with more meat on their bones? Got that too.
5.) They’ve got brains. Come on now, how can intelligence be a bad thing?
6.) Most are quite good at remembering dates. Like birthdates and
such, especially if they know it’ll make you happy. Due again to their
neglected status, they’re more attentive than guys who “have more
options”. Plus, with all that down time without a steady girlfriend,
they’ll likely have mental lists of all the things they’d love to do
once they GOT a girlfriend.
7.) Sex. Yep. Sex. I’m not really familiar with this myself, but
I’ve friends who’ve been intimate with geek guys and it’s raves all
around. They say a virgin wrote the Kama Sutra… all that time thinking
about sex, imagining sex, dreaming about sex, (they are male after all)
coupled with a desire to make you happy? Use your imagination.
8.) They’re relatively low-maintenance. Most can be fueled on pizza,
Twinkies and Mt Dew. No complicated dinners needed here, so if you’re
not the best cook, eh. Can you order a pizza?
9.) Most frequent bars as often as slugs frequent salt mines. You
won’t have to worry much about your geek guy getting his “groove” on
with club hotties because, frankly, he’ll be too busy rooting around
under his computer wondering where that spare cable went. You won’t
have to worry about him flirting with other women because, 9 out of 10
times, he’ll zip right by them in a perfect b-line towards the nearest
electronics store. I’ve seen this happen.
Me: “Eww. Victoria Secret’s Models… They’re so skinny. How is that feminine? You can see her ribs!”
Geek Guy: “ooooooo…”
Me: “Hey!” *notices he is staring lustfully towards the computer store*
Geek Guy: “What?”
Me: “Never mind…”
10.) Although he may not want to go to every outing with you, you
can arrange swaps, as in, you’ll go to his Gamer Con dressed as an elf
princess if he’ll take you to the ballet. Plus, if he doesn’t want to
go someplace with you, you won’t have to worry much about what he’s up
to. You’ll probably come home to find him asleep on his keyboard in a
sea of Mt. Dew cans with code blinking from the screen. It’s ok. He’s
used to this. Just toss a blanket over him and turn out the light.
11.) His friends aren’t jerks. I can’t stress this enough. You’ll
more likely get “Omg! A GIRL!! Can I see?!” than “Hey hot stuff back
that ass up here and let me get some grub on…” They’re awkward geeks
too and will, 9 times out of 10, treat you with the utmost respect and,
more than likely, a note of awe. A cute girl picked one of their clan
to date? It could happen to them! Hope! Drag some of your single
girlfriends over, open up a pack of Mt. Dew, crack open the DnD set and
get working. Nothing impresses geek guys more than a girl who can
hack-n-slash (well ok maybe if she can code… a geek can dream).
12.) They’re rarely if ever possessive. They trust you, so you can
be yourself around them. You like to walk around the house in a ratty
t-shirt for comfort? He won’t care. He does too! They won’t get pissy
if you don’t wear make-up or don’t want to bother primping your hair.
If you gain a few pounds, they won’t try their best to make you feel
like crap.
13.) They’re usually very well educated. Physics majors and the
like. See #5. You won’t have to listen to him blathering on about his
car (ok maybe a little), he’ll have loads of other interesting things
to talk about. Politics, world events, how much the chicken burgers
down at the local place rock, so long as you douse them in hot sauce…
14.) You’ll almost never have to hear, “Yaw dawg whazzap!!” plop out
of their mouths. Unless it’s in jest. They spell properly, use correct
punctuation, and are able to tell the difference between the toilet and
the floor. They almost never get “wasted”, so you won’t have to worry
about coming home to find him and his friends passed out on the floor
amidst a pile of beer bottles. Mt. Dew cans, perhaps…
15.) And the final reason why geeks and nerds make great boyfriends:
They actually give a damn about you. Not how you look (though that’s a
plus), not how skinny you are, not how much make-up you primp yourself
up with, but they like you for you. That kind of thing lasts longer
than “DaMN baby you got a fine ass!!!” Believe me.