Me again

Seems like every time I promise to post more often, and then post less. Been over 3 weeks since my last post. It helps that I have been doing a daily diary using, so I don’t think to post to my friends.

Things have been really rough but promising. It’s like we have to take the hard way through everything. We definitely love each other as much as ever, but keep triggering the worst parts of each other instead of the best ones. We have had a lot of breakthroughs, and have come up with some really good ideas, but it’s still touch-and-go. Amazingly, NONE of our problems have to do with the fact that this woman is 26 years younger than I am — we seem to be on the same wavelength on more items than I’ve ever had in a relationship. I really do have most of the “power” in the relationship, but I’m not interested in using it for anything other than improving her self-esteem and such. I don’t feel like her father or her teacher, I love her very much and feel quite responsible for her.

We re-filed SSDI claim. I need to get in touch with SSA in Morristown and see if they’ve assigned a Disability Specialist in Nashville to the case, and need to introduce myself to hir if they have. I also still need a medical POA on Sunshine. I already have an Agent form filed with SSA so they should talk to me, but a medical POA would help a lot.

We don’t have income other than mine. We’re not likely to get any unless and until she gets SSDI. But my mother just loaned me $2600 to clean out my debts so that all my money goes to living expenses — except for $90 per month to pay back the loan over 30 months, after which she says she will probably let me keep the money. That makes a huge difference. I can’t seem to get Sunshine to learn to stay at home, making eating out and gas our largest “incidental” expenses. I’m making headway on impressing her with this.

We’re going to Beltaine at Splendor Hollow, only day-tripping on Saturday (don’t want to camp out, there will be too many people there to handle). Sunshine has blended right in with my Pagan friends, even though she knew nothing at all about Paganism before meeting me.

IF we can get her SSDI, we can qualify for low-income apartments. They have just finished building some about a half-mile from where we live, and the rooms would be much larger than this trailer. On the other hand, we could also probably afford a larger trailer. We love it out here in Blaine, the scenery is wonderful, you feel like you’re a million miles from anywhere when you are less than 15 miles from a major mall and shopping area.

My music hasn’t been going anywhere lately, in fact I’ve had a cold and don’t wanna stress my voice. I’m treating it the usual way — a neti pot, mouthwash, and nothing else. I find my colds are much less severe and much shorter duration than taking whatever cold remedies I’ve had.

Sunshine’s recovery from the damage of the psych drugs has been slow but certain. Her periods of “infantile regression” are also fewer and shorter. I’m sure that, to somebody, it looks like I’m with her because I like playing with children (insert dirty word here), but that never comes up and I am considerably LESS sexually interested in her when she is less than at her full adult status.

OK, giving away too many secrets. But then, almost nobody reads this, and those who do I can trust. Hugs to Broom Service, Irishis, Megan, and others.


Comment (1)

  1. Broom_Service

    I do hope that you can get her claim going quickly. Those seem to take forever! It sounds like things are getting better for you both though. It just seems to be in baby steps. And, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. I hope that you get to feeling better soon. Hugs back at ya! Take care.


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