I had a talk with my honey this morning on the phone, and shortly after that a talk with my boss. From my viewpoint, both went well, but time will tell.
I have figured out that I am a very special person. I have a lot of widely-varied skills, and they don’t mesh together well. I have a lot of interests, also seemingly not fitting together, including skills others don’t seem to have. I also have some, er, interesting deficiencies, including some deterioration of skills I thought I had and, apparently, missing skills that come easily to others. I don’t have one all-consuming fire within me for any one thing or any obvious groupings of things. It’s hard to find the perfect anything (relationship, job, hangout, whatever), in fact I would say impossible. So I have long since been looking for what would be enough for me.
My current sweetie is enough for me. More than enough. The best honey ever. At times, I seem to be less than enough, or even “other”, for her. We can work on that, for as long as she wants to.
My current job uses more of my skills than any position I have ever had. Sometimes I am finding that my skill level is not as high as it used to be, or as high as I thought it was, but my boss says I am a very valuable employee, we just have to figure out better ways to communicate and I need to be taking more notes in our discussions. I thought my memory was better than that, but I could be wrong, so I’ll just take the best notes I can and stop whining. She, too, is willing to work on it, and so am I.
One thing I am not is a quitter. So long as there is any chance of any reasonable level of success, I don’t go running out the door or ending things. Hurts a lot sometimes. I can live through that.
I hope Sunshine reads and understands that 3rd paragraph. I love you with all my heart, honey, and don’t want to lose you, but I also don’t want to hold onto you so tightly you want to get away. We will work on anything we can, and maybe someday I will be enough for you.