Monthly Archive: October 2012

Candle and Cauldron

Today is Samhain. It is also the Grand Opening day at Candle and Cauldron, a new “Craft store” in west Knoxville. And they want me there to perform, will sit out a Tip Jar and we split the tips (my gift to them). Gotta get moving, the store opens at Noon and closes at 7 and I hope to do more than one concert slot… last we checked, nobody else was on the schedule.

Wish me luck!





UPDATE: I did fine, with lots of positive comments and something in the way of tips. See my Facebook page.

Weekend Wrap-up

I had a great time the end of last week. I had volunteered to help out with throwing a Samhain Festival inside a North Carolina State Prison (in Morganton). As it was a long drive, and as I used to live in Asheville which is only an hour from Morganton, I took off a couple days early and visited my friends in Asheville. I stayed with my old friend and former neighbor, John, and got to visit with Sky and my little sister, Aianna, for some time, as well as attend an Asheville Homeless Network meeting (an organization I helped to found and incorporated in Dec 2005).

The Festival itself was amazing. We only had 9 or 10 inmates, and about 11 of us plus the Chaplain, but these guys were really into this. It was highly enjoyable, and I came home with lots of gifts — books, drawings, even a pair of maracas and a tambourine. But it was the experience itself which made it worth it. Some of these kids (19-25) were within 90 days of release, others were in for life. But they were making the best of their situation. When we sang songs, which they had never heard before, they all were pitching in and for the most part hitting the notes (again, to songs they had never before heard). 

I look forward to doing more work in this area, probably closer to where I live. Lady Charissa says she does have letters from inmates in my area to follow up on.

More than ever, this was a weekend without my honey. That usually felt bad — in fact, from the time I entered the prison at 7 am until I got out at 8:30 pm, I could not even text her. This made it more imperative for me to drive home, although it might have been safer to spend the night at John’s in Asheville (and he offered). I really was glad to see her when I got home.  And everything was fine the next morning. For an hour or so. 

Honey is still looking for a place to move to. There are far too many situations where it gets into an argument, where my recovery and self-preservation are being strongly challenged and the result is that my honey thinks I’m a monster. Half the time I feel that way too. But we can work these things out, just have proven (over 8 months) that working things out in an ugly old tin box where we are crammed in together is not possible.

I’m still reading everyone’s blogs that I’m subscribed to. If I haven’t commented lately, it has been due to a lack of time, not a lack of interest. Look forward to it.




Back In WNC

I’m at my friend John’s house. The drive was uneventful other than being kinda tired, not enough sleep. Got there early enough that I had to wait almost 3 hours for the Asheville Homeless Network meeting. The meeting was very informative. I think they have their stuff together rather nicely, including having several committees which actually meet and a Board which actually does what they are supposed to do. Back when I was running it, I was still doing nearly all the work despite who had the title.

Went over to John’s after the meeting. I brought my stuff in, we had a couple beers, and then went out to dinner at Blue Sky Cafe. The food was very good. After that we went over to my little sister’s house and John struck up a relationship with her Great Pyrenees dog, a 175-pound monster I call “Carpet”.  Had a good visit, maybe a half hour or more. Aianna’s father, Roy, seemed to be in good health considering his age.  He’s too stubborn to die, and I like it that way.

We were going to go to a movie, but John forgot the coupon and we were both getting sleepy, so we came back to his apartment for beer, baseball, and sleep.

I’ve been talking and texting my sweetie all day. I hope she knows how much I love her.

Had to get an ethernet cable connected to get on the Internet — John has ordered a wireless router but it hasn’t arrived yet. The new toy (Zeki 7″ tablet) is working great — got the software installed and have also installed Gmail, Skype (have to get it logged in), and tried to get a Facebook app installed but the download didn’t complete by the time I had to shut it down and leave where I was getting signal.

Tomorrow I’ll drop in on Sky at least… nobody else I’ve contacted has time or are otherwise available. That means I can spend most of my time with John.

Saturday, I’m off to the prison for the Festival. We have it all ironed out that the training prior to the Festival is at 7 am, so I have to leave John’s by 6 am. Yawn.




Preach it, brother

OK, I’m off to NC to bring religion to some inmates… actually I’m joining a group of fellow Pagan priests and priestesses to throw a Samhain Gathering inside Foothills C.I. near Morganton.   About to load the car and leave… spend a couple days in Asheville with old friends… probably an enemy or two…

My honey is packing and trying to find a place to move to. Please send her your energy and concern, she really is taking this harder than it should be.




Blogging everywhere

I’m losing track of where I have journalled what. I have been blogging a tiny amount on Facebook, from time to time on my Med Free Or Working On It group, have a blog on LiveJournal, post to so many other places, and have a daily journal (private) on OhLife. So if it looks like I haven’t posted anything lately, well, maybe I have and maybe I haven’t.

I have my appointment this morning to get my food stamps back and my TennCare. Have to run by the bank first, to try to get a copy of my cancelled rent check. Sunshine doesn’t know whether she is applying or not, staying or not… makes it really difficult for me to plan for next month.

But I’m more together on the rest of this week. Unless someone calls and offers me a job, I’ll be leaving for Asheville on Thursday morning, and hope to make it to an Asheville Homeless Network meeting as well as spend at least a few minutes with at least a few of my friends. I’ll be sleeping on John Noggle’s recliner… not the best but the price is right, and John is arranging for movies and meals through Groupons and stuff like that. Getting up super-early Saturday morning to get to Morganton by 7 am for the Festival.  Probably driving straight home after the Festival is over at 8 pm.

I couldn’t find my ritual robe. Had it at the last SerpentStone Gathering, should be here somewhere. Tore the place up looking for it. I’ll have to just wear a “period” tunic for the Festival. Darn.




Mixed Blessings

Lots of things happening, some good, some bad, some ???. 

Had a job interview yesterday. It would be the perfect job for me, or as close as could be… but they have lots of other applicants, and I’m sure some of them have better job records than I do. They wanted to sign me up as a client… but I’m 400 yards out of their legal area of practice (Knox County). Lots of good vibes going there. 

Honey got a job prospect in Morristown, which would be a LOT better for me than if she would move to Nashville or Murfreesboro like she wants to.

Got kicked out of a Meetup group that I really like. I got general reasons but nothing specific, so I can’t even modify my behavior. But the group in Sevierville made it entirely clear I am always welcome with them.

I also just noticed that February 2 will be my 30th anniversary of my Initiation into Wicca. I’m sure that makes some people feel good, others not so much. But all the people who have rejected me, none of them have been Goddess Herself.

Also not sure I did the right thing — my alcoholic neighbor asked me to take him to the local beer store, and I did. His wife has talked about him being an alcoholic, but usually just dismisses it when he’s drunk, so it’s probably no skin off her nose.

I’m not going to make it without a fair bit of money — I need less money than a 20-hour-week job would provide on top of my SSDI check, but hundreds more than my Disability check gives me. Nice that I’m that close, a lot of people have it worse.

Good to hear from Moonlit Lass. I love to hear from her as much or more than anyone else on the Net whom I have not personally met.




Mixed Signals

This has been an interesting time. In the Chinese sense.

My honey has been farther from me than usual, but yesterday we were closer than we have been in a while.

I got removed from the local Pagan Meetup group — the moderator said my behavior at the last few meetups has been driving away both old and new members. This is interesting, as I have made several new friends at these meetups, and the last meetup was the largest gathering in over a year. Also at this meetup, an old member (in both senses of the word) gave me his address and phone number and offered to repair my guitars, and another member, who is having her witchy shop’s Grand Opening on Oct. 31, asked me to perform as much as I wanted to at this event.

Then I went to my Gmail, and found that I have been installed as Owner of the Ye Olde Pagans Yahoogroup. Nobody asked, but hey, I’ll do it so long as everyone else wants me to.

I seem to be doing all right as Moderator of the Stop Psychiatric Diagnosis Abuse group on Facebook, and get frequent emails from the prior Moderators to help me keep the group on task.

I have not gotten calls back on the jobs I’ve applied for.

Any ideas ?  The Universe is just not giving me good clues.





Had a miserable day yesterday. Honey was home all day and I felt like crap. Did my best to take care of her. Needed to get those job applications in the email.

Honey went to a meetup (all women, so without me), and, amazingly, I found enough energy to get all the scanning and sending and typing of things. Didn’t feel great, but found enough to get stuff done. Honey was gong at least two hours longer than I expected her to be gone.

Honey came home and things fell apart. Started a fight with me right off, cutting me into pieces, and then demanded I pick up those pieces and take care of her sexually. Needless to say, that proved to not be possible. In the end, she left. I don’t know where she stayed, but it wasn’t here.

Yeah, that makes me feel good. Oh well, made a pot of coffee. Gotta carry on.




What now?

Feeling a little burnt out. Yesterday was a roller-coaster of emotions, maybe proving that I’m not ready to go back to work, but included two job recommendations from a career center. Haven’t gotten off my butt to finish the work I need to do to submit them (scan referral letters, fix resume, sent email). I hope I have the energy to do that later — unless my body is telling me it isn’t time, but that could be simple fear, not simple truth.  Both jobs I’m qualified for, and both are only 25 hours per week. Time to muddle through, I guess.

Got other stuff to talk about that it’s probably better not to talk about. If will go away or it won’t.




Home Again

Had an OK time at the conference. Was not as “up” as last year, and neither am I. Honey and I have been having a few discussions without being on the same page. We did get laundry done, and honey bought a bottle of berry mead from Pendragon. Sitting around feeling wiped out, as I have felt most of the day. Got some serious TV to watch. Also got videos in the mail, with some strawberry jam my mother made, and need to call Mom and thank her. I have the career center tomorrow, should get my resume printed out. Not sure what to do. Oh, and I made Kitchen Sink for dinner.