I have completed another trip around the Sun, my 60th such.
Had to pay bills today. Extra stresses were added throughout the day, as well as friends helping to destress me and my own actions to do so.
I’ll be spending my birthday with good and loving friends in Sevierville. Not entirely what I had hoped for (which would have been a larger celebration centered around these same friends), but close enough.
I am very thankful for my closest friends — Angus and Angie, Sky, Paula Caplan, Monica, John — as well as my mother and my favorite cousin, Linda. I am thankful for so many others, including those who call themselves my sisters and students. I am thankful for my cat, who tries to love me — not only is it hard for her for her background, but hard for me when I so often am feeling unlovable. I am thankful that I can — barely — take care of myself, often with financial help from my mother. I am thankful for all those who have chosen to spend some part of their life living with me, however unsuccessful it has been to date. I would love to be thankful for a job, especially one in peer support, but have not been able to secure one.
Update: OK, it’s the afternoon now. I wrote that before going to bed. I woke up crying. My ex-wife #5 called and was talking about coming back to me. She has been gone for 14 years, living with a man (husband, and still married to him) who treats her like shit and steals from her mother and… I’ve had to hear about this for 14 years and she hasn’t come back yet, plus there’s a reason I left her the first time. I had to tell her, What if your knight in shining armor is just a retard in aluminum foil?
Getting a lot of good birthday greetings, some ecards, most of them beautiful… also getting birthday greetings from websites, some of which I don’t even remember joining.
Should leave for Sevierville soon. Or at least go get something to eat.
Update #2: I should thank Sunshine for helping me get through the past 9 months, even though it has been very rocky. At least I wasn’t alone, and I know she loves me.