Yearly Archive: 2012

Hanging in there

Now that’s a title I’ve probably used a dozen times…

I called on the job, and was told they hired someone else, but they did want to keep me in mind for a different position — which they do not currently have an opening for but hope to have soon.

I have had some short breakdowns like the one a few days ago, but not as long.  I will keep going because I can.

It’s nice that Obama got reelected, that gives some hope. Since I live in TN, and as I believe the President has not kept more than half his first-term promises, I got to vote for a third-party candidate who more closely meets my ideology without hurting Obama’s chances of being elected (my county voted over 67% for Romney, and it was about the same state-wide, so my vote did not have a remote chance of taking an electoral vote away from Obama). Historically, second-term Presidents are LESS effective than they were in their first term, but at least we’re not looking at losing all our gains in health care and education and giving all our money to the richest of the rich.

Not much more to say. Honey got turned down on an apartment. But she seems to have understood one of our issues, which should make it easier to stay here as long as she needs to. Several issues to go before it would be safe for her to stop looking for an apartment and just stay here, but I really love my honey and I’m glad she understood one more thing.




Break down

I had an absolutely horrible morning yesterday and the rest of the day was only better by comparison.I spent over a half hour bawling my head off and mostly unable to talk, this is the worst I’ve had that I can remember, at least in recent years. But today I have my second visit with my new psychologist and I hope to hear from the job… hopefully positive.  Honey has a job interview today. Lots of scared, lots of hope, no relief yet.




Looking up

I had a WONDERFUL time at Blood Moon / Samhain Celebration. People were around me who enjoyed having me around, and around Sunshine who genuinely care about her. The ritual was very deep, I still have some work to do to determine what is requested of me.

I talked to Mom twice yesterday. She says they will probably let her go home Monday or Tuesday.

Sunshine has a job interview on Monday. I have not yet heard on the result of my job interviews.




Bump in the Road

Sometime Thursday afternoon, one of my cousins posted to Facebook that my mother was in the hospital for a blood clot in her leg. (She is 83 years old)  The cousin said to contact her for contact information. I did so. Several hours later, I had nothing.  So I called my uncle… he did not know the room phone number but told me the hospital, room number, and her cell phone.

Well, I called the cell and left a message. Mom turns her phone off during charging — and it turns out she doesn’t have a clue how to check voicemail, and is sure she doesn’t even have it.

Late night my son posted to me the number to her room, and as it was too late to call, I called yesterday morning and talked to her. She said they would know more in the evening. I called back on her cell phone (yes it was working). So far everything’s fine, and she will be in there just a few days while they try to dissolve the blood clot with drugs rather than break it loose and have it lodge somewhere more dangerous.

My honey has been home on and off. I just spent two straight nights sleeping alone (assuming I got much sleep, which I didn’t) while she spent the night somewhere else. She is looking for a place to live and has friends to stay with. Don’t worry, she’s not sleeping with someone else, or I don’t know her. It’s hard to sleep alone after 8 months together, but with her moving out I’ll have to get used to it sometime.

No word on the job yet. sad

Got a ritual to go to tonight at some friends’ place I’ve never been to. Don’t know how long it will take to get there but it’s not that far… by helicopter… the roads in TN don’t go straight, no matter where you’re going.




Candle and Cauldron

Today is Samhain. It is also the Grand Opening day at Candle and Cauldron, a new “Craft store” in west Knoxville. And they want me there to perform, will sit out a Tip Jar and we split the tips (my gift to them). Gotta get moving, the store opens at Noon and closes at 7 and I hope to do more than one concert slot… last we checked, nobody else was on the schedule.

Wish me luck!





UPDATE: I did fine, with lots of positive comments and something in the way of tips. See my Facebook page.

Weekend Wrap-up

I had a great time the end of last week. I had volunteered to help out with throwing a Samhain Festival inside a North Carolina State Prison (in Morganton). As it was a long drive, and as I used to live in Asheville which is only an hour from Morganton, I took off a couple days early and visited my friends in Asheville. I stayed with my old friend and former neighbor, John, and got to visit with Sky and my little sister, Aianna, for some time, as well as attend an Asheville Homeless Network meeting (an organization I helped to found and incorporated in Dec 2005).

The Festival itself was amazing. We only had 9 or 10 inmates, and about 11 of us plus the Chaplain, but these guys were really into this. It was highly enjoyable, and I came home with lots of gifts — books, drawings, even a pair of maracas and a tambourine. But it was the experience itself which made it worth it. Some of these kids (19-25) were within 90 days of release, others were in for life. But they were making the best of their situation. When we sang songs, which they had never heard before, they all were pitching in and for the most part hitting the notes (again, to songs they had never before heard). 

I look forward to doing more work in this area, probably closer to where I live. Lady Charissa says she does have letters from inmates in my area to follow up on.

More than ever, this was a weekend without my honey. That usually felt bad — in fact, from the time I entered the prison at 7 am until I got out at 8:30 pm, I could not even text her. This made it more imperative for me to drive home, although it might have been safer to spend the night at John’s in Asheville (and he offered). I really was glad to see her when I got home.  And everything was fine the next morning. For an hour or so. 

Honey is still looking for a place to move to. There are far too many situations where it gets into an argument, where my recovery and self-preservation are being strongly challenged and the result is that my honey thinks I’m a monster. Half the time I feel that way too. But we can work these things out, just have proven (over 8 months) that working things out in an ugly old tin box where we are crammed in together is not possible.

I’m still reading everyone’s blogs that I’m subscribed to. If I haven’t commented lately, it has been due to a lack of time, not a lack of interest. Look forward to it.




Back In WNC

I’m at my friend John’s house. The drive was uneventful other than being kinda tired, not enough sleep. Got there early enough that I had to wait almost 3 hours for the Asheville Homeless Network meeting. The meeting was very informative. I think they have their stuff together rather nicely, including having several committees which actually meet and a Board which actually does what they are supposed to do. Back when I was running it, I was still doing nearly all the work despite who had the title.

Went over to John’s after the meeting. I brought my stuff in, we had a couple beers, and then went out to dinner at Blue Sky Cafe. The food was very good. After that we went over to my little sister’s house and John struck up a relationship with her Great Pyrenees dog, a 175-pound monster I call “Carpet”.  Had a good visit, maybe a half hour or more. Aianna’s father, Roy, seemed to be in good health considering his age.  He’s too stubborn to die, and I like it that way.

We were going to go to a movie, but John forgot the coupon and we were both getting sleepy, so we came back to his apartment for beer, baseball, and sleep.

I’ve been talking and texting my sweetie all day. I hope she knows how much I love her.

Had to get an ethernet cable connected to get on the Internet — John has ordered a wireless router but it hasn’t arrived yet. The new toy (Zeki 7″ tablet) is working great — got the software installed and have also installed Gmail, Skype (have to get it logged in), and tried to get a Facebook app installed but the download didn’t complete by the time I had to shut it down and leave where I was getting signal.

Tomorrow I’ll drop in on Sky at least… nobody else I’ve contacted has time or are otherwise available. That means I can spend most of my time with John.

Saturday, I’m off to the prison for the Festival. We have it all ironed out that the training prior to the Festival is at 7 am, so I have to leave John’s by 6 am. Yawn.




Preach it, brother

OK, I’m off to NC to bring religion to some inmates… actually I’m joining a group of fellow Pagan priests and priestesses to throw a Samhain Gathering inside Foothills C.I. near Morganton.   About to load the car and leave… spend a couple days in Asheville with old friends… probably an enemy or two…

My honey is packing and trying to find a place to move to. Please send her your energy and concern, she really is taking this harder than it should be.




Blogging everywhere

I’m losing track of where I have journalled what. I have been blogging a tiny amount on Facebook, from time to time on my Med Free Or Working On It group, have a blog on LiveJournal, post to so many other places, and have a daily journal (private) on OhLife. So if it looks like I haven’t posted anything lately, well, maybe I have and maybe I haven’t.

I have my appointment this morning to get my food stamps back and my TennCare. Have to run by the bank first, to try to get a copy of my cancelled rent check. Sunshine doesn’t know whether she is applying or not, staying or not… makes it really difficult for me to plan for next month.

But I’m more together on the rest of this week. Unless someone calls and offers me a job, I’ll be leaving for Asheville on Thursday morning, and hope to make it to an Asheville Homeless Network meeting as well as spend at least a few minutes with at least a few of my friends. I’ll be sleeping on John Noggle’s recliner… not the best but the price is right, and John is arranging for movies and meals through Groupons and stuff like that. Getting up super-early Saturday morning to get to Morganton by 7 am for the Festival.  Probably driving straight home after the Festival is over at 8 pm.

I couldn’t find my ritual robe. Had it at the last SerpentStone Gathering, should be here somewhere. Tore the place up looking for it. I’ll have to just wear a “period” tunic for the Festival. Darn.




Mixed Blessings

Lots of things happening, some good, some bad, some ???. 

Had a job interview yesterday. It would be the perfect job for me, or as close as could be… but they have lots of other applicants, and I’m sure some of them have better job records than I do. They wanted to sign me up as a client… but I’m 400 yards out of their legal area of practice (Knox County). Lots of good vibes going there. 

Honey got a job prospect in Morristown, which would be a LOT better for me than if she would move to Nashville or Murfreesboro like she wants to.

Got kicked out of a Meetup group that I really like. I got general reasons but nothing specific, so I can’t even modify my behavior. But the group in Sevierville made it entirely clear I am always welcome with them.

I also just noticed that February 2 will be my 30th anniversary of my Initiation into Wicca. I’m sure that makes some people feel good, others not so much. But all the people who have rejected me, none of them have been Goddess Herself.

Also not sure I did the right thing — my alcoholic neighbor asked me to take him to the local beer store, and I did. His wife has talked about him being an alcoholic, but usually just dismisses it when he’s drunk, so it’s probably no skin off her nose.

I’m not going to make it without a fair bit of money — I need less money than a 20-hour-week job would provide on top of my SSDI check, but hundreds more than my Disability check gives me. Nice that I’m that close, a lot of people have it worse.

Good to hear from Moonlit Lass. I love to hear from her as much or more than anyone else on the Net whom I have not personally met.