Yearly Archive: 2015


2015 has been a great year for me. I have a new, permanent home, a new purpose, a new confidence. My role in my Family has grown, as has my role in my various outside activities, helping the homeless and ministering to prisoners and my position as a bard.

I suppose the downside was my burgeoning debt. Some of that debt was incurred to fund my future; some of it was to move, or to fill the needs presented by the new house. Some of it, admittedly, was from poor decisions, not sure if I’ll ever completely get rid of those. 2016 is when I pay for that. So long as I keep my job, this should not be an issue. Aum shrim Mahalaxmiyei svaha!

I’m not really making any resolutions for the new year, other than to consolidate and grow the seeds already planted (and shrink the debt). This will be a very organic year for me, probably won’t be a whole lot for me to report upon other than road signs.

Blessings on all your endeavors!


I Circle Around

Today marks the completion of my personal 63rd trip around the Home Star. I thank many of you reading this for this accomplishment, as I may not have gotten this far without you.

It is nice to be living at a time and place where, barring some really tin-foil hat government paranoia, I am safe and welcome and have all my needs met. As tin foil is extremely difficult to find these days, I should be all right. (Accept no substitutes! Aluminum is the devil!)

I don’t really have anything planned for today, except that I want to get my trusty Blue (guitar) repaired (he busted a nut — guitarists will know what I’m talking about while they’re snickering, the rest of you can just snicker and be ignorant). I also am getting a new recliner delivered (well, I have the back, just need the base — it wouldn’t fit into my little Cobalt). I may or may not go out to eat in celebration; but it’s not as though I haven’t gained enough fat storage to survive on for months. I may have friends coming over to help me in my foray for comestibles, or that may be put off until Sunday, or it may not happen at all. Rest assured, I am fat and happy — fatter than I want to be and happier than I ever imagined being. I’ve actually been breaking out into smiling fits the last two days.

If you want to do something for me, I have several suggestions. Donate to a homeless project, or even go serve food at one. Maybe find a hippo recovery project, or a zoo hippo who is under provided for. If you want to aid me directly, my CD download is still available for sale at .

And if you’re in the area, you are more than welcome to come hang out in the woods with me. That’s the nice thing about my current residence, lots of woods of my own to hang out in.


Busy Guy

Today I drove to Knoxville to donate another bag of 30 knit caps to Knox Area Rescue Ministries (to add to the 28 I donated last weekend). After that, I drove to Piedmont to see Johnny Rushing and get my two 12-string guitars looked at. He fixed my old Ibanez Performance model, made a new bridge for it, then looked at my newer Dean and determined all that was wrong with it was bad strings. For that he charged me a whopping $10, to be paid when I get cash in hand. I need to go back and get the nut fixed on my blue 6-string, so I’ll just take $20 with me then. After that I went and got my car washed.

It’s nice to have my trusty Ibanez (Disciple) back in action.

Tomorrow I drive to Newport to donate a (smaller) bag of hats to a homeless project there. And on Sunday my friends Wayne and Amber are coming over to help me get some of the old shattered glass off the property — it looks like sometime 20 years ago a greenhouse fell down and was allowed to stay there. Roots and leaves and other dirt and growing things have woven through it. Every time I go pull out a layer I find five more layers beneath it. Maybe we can get it all done on Sunday.

Not much is actually going on. Just being organic about life. I have no known performances planned until GAFilk in January.



Not much going on.

I performed at the inaugural WolfStock a couple weekends ago, and even (eventually) got paid for it. It was a fundraiser for Wolf PAWS, Inc., a wolf/wolf-dog rescue and recovery program just outside of Dandridge. The fundraiser was a success by the organizer’s accounting, raising at least a couple thousand dollars for the project, but it was clear to the performers that they really need lessons in promoting events (they could easily have had four times as many people there with decent promotion).

I just learned this week that I’m not losing my job when my client moves closer to Knoxville. It will be a bit longer of a drive but not too bad. My little car keeps plugging along nicely. A couple cosmetic things need to be done on him, but nothing at all major. I never did, for instance, get the lock fixed on the trunk (don’t know why, but the key does not fit the trunk lock, a fact mitigated by the trunk release button inside the car), and the left headlight lens assembly could stand to be replaced. Also the driver’s seat need replacing, the foam pulled apart on the right side and my back sometimes is contacting the steel frame of the seat. All trivia.

Nothing at all going on here until January. Well, my birthday in December, but there are probably very few who will help me celebrate it. Another trip around the homestar, yessiree.

Still doing fine medically, only take one blood pressure med (which doesn’t like me, but it’s better than the other ones they’ve tried on me) and one injection every two weeks (my body is not producing an important hormone, ’nuff said). Otherwise, I take my handful (and it takes a large hand) of supplements every day.

So like I said, it’s snooze time here in the Tennessee mountains. Hope y’all are having a great time. Nobody ever said things had to be exciting to be good.


Labeling Issues

I have some dear friends who seem to believe that defining gender by multiple possibilities solves something. I don’t see it, but maybe that’s because I’m old. I’ve spent a fair part of my life battling gender-role stereotypes; I’m not in the least certain that defining more genders makes this any easier or better. I am who I am. While I am currently comfortable in my body, I’ve found that has varied widely over the years, and might have done a surgical procedure to reassign my gender at one time or another if it were (a) available and (b) affordable, but am currently happy I did not.

I completely support my GBLTQO friends in determining who and what they are. As I have never been entirely certain who or what I am, and as that uncertainty in my case has not been restricted to questions of gender identity, why would I not?

Am I cis? I think I’m too old for any such determination, and if the options discussed today were discussed when I was in my 20s I might have easily argued that I am not. However, I’ve been what I am for so long that I don’t think it matters how I am labeled. I do not, however, feel it is appropriate to lump me into a category which has not existed for at least 60 years of my life and would prefer for my friends to not do so.

Here’s the main point: In my life, labels have been the cause of issues, problems, and stigma, not the solution. Never the solution. But I support your right to stick whatever labels on yourself that you feel is right, and hope that it does more good than harm to you.

As for genderless pronouns, the same goes. I’ve used some early attempts at this myself. I do not know the source of the current set being used by young people, but nobody asked me about it and they should have asked people who cared and have fought the same fights (which includes me). Maybe I’m just jealous they didn’t ask, but I do not find the new terms usable. (You can go through my old writings and find “s/he” and “hir” used rather widely as far back as 1985, so I’m not making this up.)

Anyone care to discuss this? The floor is open. Best forum is my Facebook page; comments here are so much spam I may have effectively closed them.


Mucking Through

Last week, this week, and next week I have been and will be working a job which is farther away than my usual and is 5 short days per week… On top of that, the schedule is daytime, which I’m not used to and have long since proven I really can’t adjust to long-term. So longer drive and more days to be driving added to early mornings; I’ve been quite pulled down by this, which is why I’ve been quiet lately. Things should go back to normal.


Breaking the Silence

What happened last night was epic. We had 15 people over here (including me) for the event. My spiritual brother got elevated to Elder Bard. I got Barded, and THEN raised to Elder Bard. (Priestess’ excuse was “You already ARE one, why do you need the ceremony?” Which was one question I needed to answer.) The fact that so many in my Community were in attendance (at my tiny place) was so heartwarming and made it that much more special.

Two years ago, I told my Community I wasn’t even a Bard. I don’t have that excuse anymore.



I have been moved in thought to want to talk about my life and how I got here, who helped me, who I helped, who hurt me and who I hurt (that last is a small number thankfully). I don’t know how to go about it without sounding like a saint or a whiner. I am neither. I have also had to think about how to make these statements without sounding like I’m about to off myself (I am not).

First off, there is my mother. She has had lots of cause to completely dissociate herself from me, but felt the obligation to hold on. There have been many dark times between us, but she is still here. Actually, at my age, the fact that she is still alive is a blessing not commonly found. I have always needed her more than anyone could have willingly signed up for, and except for a few periods where “tough love” was probably appropriate (regardless of how I felt at the time), she has always been there for me.

Then let’s start with the angels. There has been one person at least in my life, perhaps others, for whom I had no direct connection and neither of us had any obligation to the other, but who stepped up and helped hold me together at times when I was in the most need. She was a child at the time. The Internet is a wondrous thing, it bring a level of equality unknown by previous generations. “Flaming Lavender” made many phone calls, sent many texts and spent hours in Yahoo Messenger with me at a time when my life was at its darkest. Her advice was the best I was getting of all available sources. I only found out years later that she was only 15 at the time. Not a single untoward thing was stated or expressed (should memory serve and not volley). She will forever be in my heart as my sister.

Many of you know I’ve been married 5 times. Two of the resultant mothers-in-law have been angels to me, the first and the last one. My thanks to Edith Smith wherever she is (passed on) and Mary Parks (last I knew, she is still on Earth, but is likely very ill).

I have to be thankful for most of the women who have come into my life in relationships. I am not an easy person to live with, and I am not exactly your breadwinner type. I have done my best, and it has not been enough; some of you have also done your best. I tend to feel incomplete when I am not in a relationship, and if I were a better learner I would have stopped punishing myself and the women in my life and gone solo. But you have each had a place in my heart.

The innocent victims in all this are my two children, Dan and Chandra. I could never be what they needed, and for most of their life I have merely been absent. I’ve made a few attempts to crawl back in, but there is not a place there that I can see. (Let me know if I’m wrong, and I’ll do what I can to fill the hole.) In some way I was bailed out, as Jim did everything in their life that I was slated to do. I’m thankful for him, and very proud of how both my children turned out. I have learned that there have been some lies told about me which make me out to be even less or worse than I was, but that’s what I get for not being around.

I think that’s all I have the energy for at this time. Maybe I’ll get back to it.

May you all be blessed. My presence in some lives has been a large blessing, to others a small one, and to a few a vacuum or negative, but there is love in my heart for all of you who have been a part of me.



I taught a workshop and managed two Bardic Circles this past weekend. There were some really good moments and some really good people. Now I get to put my house literally in order for my Barding this Saturday. Emmie is also negotiating a couple of performances for me in the coming months.

The college I went to my first two years away from home keeps sending me magazine updates. I’m sure they are thinly-disguised appeals for donations. But I smile when they get to the part where they mention the latest achievements of past students, like the jock who made my life miserable having completed a long career as a successful women’s basketball coach at the college and being inducted into the Kansas Sports Hall of Fame.

I want so badly to send in my news: Gerald “Moss” Bliss has been installed as Steward of Shernai, the facilities of Triad Bardic College, and on September 27 he will be raised to the status of Elder Bard by the College. He has served the past several years as Master of Bards for the Earth’s Web Community, in which capacity he will continue to serve.

I kinda think that would not get published in the mag…