Tag Archive: Beer

Vanishing Wheelchair

I drove to Asheville today (Saturday) to play a little bit at the Vanishing Wheelchair Project. Apparently the word didn’t get out, they had the smallest audience of recent times. There were supposed to be about 30 children there but something happened and they didn’t show up. I played really well, 3 songs, got a lot of positive support and tried to give away some hats but people kept paying me for them, made $28. I got to see my friends at Bruisin’ Ales, spent a fair bit of time with John Noggle, talked on the phone with Sky, and even shouted out to Mike Paglia, who I saw in Pritchard Park. After the show I went back to John’s, watched a movie and ate peanuts. Decided I was awake enough to drive home, so I did. I got home just a tad after 2 am.

I was informed of the show by Emmy and Ken, who were supposed to go with me; about mid-week they cancelled, and I thought I’d go ahead and do it by myself.

Yep, that’s a good day.

Not Doing So Well

I’ve been melting down, or nearly so, for the past couple weeks. Everything is going well, but it’s not. I’m not letting myself be affected by stress, but I am. Apparently I am doing a good job of isolating stress from what I’m doing, and a poor job of dumping the stress or destressing so it’s building up.

The past couple days at work I have been nearly useless. The guys have not been doing well at all. There is still a lot of turmoil, getting staff in to cover slots instead of getting back to some kind of normal, and that always distresses the guys. But it’s getting to me, instead of my usual way of letting it flow over me.

The stresses have been: Death of car, dealing with my mother to get me home and then replace car, performance itself (although mitigated by how well I did), all the stuff going on at work (manager’s death, loss of staff, reaction of guys), the extra hours I worked to make up my missed time, information on my disability (which might end in 2 years, the way I read the law — and they don’t say explicitly anywhere what happens at the end of what they are now calling the “3-year extended trial work period”). And then the death of Robin Williams. That especially hit me because of all the potential suicides I’ve stopped, and the knowledge that he had stopped a few himself.

So how do I destress? I have people I can tell the problems to, but it doesn’t go away. I have nobody I can hold. Meditation has never worked for me, although I give it another try every few weeks/months/years.

OK, there is your 5 minutes of angst. Nothing to see here. Move along.


Winding Down

And the week rolls to a close. It has been a long time since I had such a comfortable time with a woman… and felt so helpless. I drive Nan back home. She has had more backrubs this week than any week in recent memory. I know they *helped* but they didn’t fix anything or show a path forward. I hate it when I can’t really help… but I got a chance to show love, and not much chance to show the lust which properly goes with a good relationship. It’s really hard to get into lovemaking when you feel the tiny flinch that goes with each light touch. And this is a woman I really love and really would want to be with. Almost happened once.

I told my mother when I first broke up with Nan that I would be with her again in 2 years. I missed the deadline, but if I could heal the pain she is going though I would be there in seconds. Assuming I could get another driver and had enough gas money to get to H’ville and back with a Uhaul and my van…

In other news, I was part of a test group trying to help write a document to use multiple virtual machines on Lighthouse 64 Mariner or FatDog 64. I think I helped make the document more usable, especially for newbies like me, but I never really finished getting it set up (maybe if I read the finished document I can do that).

I just tasted the first beer out of my latest batch. This is a “Grand Bohemian Pilsner” — ya know, it’s supposed to taste like Buttweiper or Molar (names changed to protect the rich people) … and if their product tasted like THIS I wouldn’t bother buying homebrewing kits. Still, I like more of a Belgian product, so I’ll be buying more of that when I get enough money.

OK, time to get ready for the long drive to WNC and back.


Belt tightening

Well, I keep filling in the blanks (which should be ? not _) on my spreadsheet. Things are awfully tight. I have friends all over offering support, some of whom have even mailed me care packages. I have a list of not-expensive things for which there is just no room… unless I stop doing something I have committed myself to do, and even that would only free up $150 per month.

The good news is, there are things which go away if I keep paying on them. $85 of the $150 would go away after 14 months. (I really can’t wait that long, and have asked the person I’m helping to find another source of help, either take the payment over or find another item.) ┬áThe rest of it I’m only committed to through December. Another $137 goes away next April. (By “goes away”, I mean “I stop having to spend it”, by completing the commitment.) But that still makes for lean times until December. I have only $80 per month for food (not including $20 for pet food). I may or may not have money (depending on the month) for my supplements.

On the good news side, someone gave me a Mr. Beer kit, and I’ve bottled my first of two batches, so I won’t be buying beer for a while (the batch is not ready for two weeks, and I won’t start the second batch until then unless I can get more bottles). I am also not that much of a drinker, so this really does not impact my budget, just keeps me from spending what is left over, if anything, on beer for a while. Better beer, better prices. Papa John’s. Oops, strike that…

My website transfer is complete, and I can now be found online at http://peacefulhippo.info. NOTE: I WILL BE MOVING THIS BLOG TO THE WEBSITE, probably pretty soon, so watch for it.