Tag Archive: paganism

Barding, Filk, friends, home, love, music, paganism

22

Aug

2016

Treading water

Well, GAFilk is over for another year. I had a terrific time as I always do (that’s why I keep going, y’all) but it’s over. I have no concrete plans for any other cons this year, although there are 3 cons I’m considering (ConCarolinas, OVFF, and Chambanacon, if you’re curious) depending on funds (of which I have virtually none and have run up too much credit card debt).

Even so, I have a high point every year to look forward to, and it’s not all that expensive ($50 or less for the con, $35 for the banquet, half a hotel room, and some food and parking money). I even wrote a new song this year (not a cheerful one, sadly) and got to perform it.

There were around 160 people this year, and I know and love probably half of that number and would say the same about the other half if I took the time to get to know them. It can also be said that, of the people I know and love and/or respect, 80% of them were or had been in that room this year and/or one of the previous four.

Only 51 weeks to go…

Apparently my position is being eliminated on the 21st of this month, although the company claims they have other positions for me. Until they offer one, I have no idea how that will work out, so it’s a bit itchy.

I don’t believe I mentioned that my new coffeepot (42-cup Hamilton Beach percolator) stopped perking after only 10 weeks and they are dragging their feet replacing it even though they have already charged me for the shipping cost. So, no coffee, have to go to Pilot for a while. Which saves me money on gas…

Hugs,
Me

Barding, Budgeting, family, Filk, friends, home, love, Moss Bliss, music, paganism, weekend, work

12

Jan

2016

New Year

Like many people, I have not been at my best for the past several weeks. The weather has been strange, with only one very light snowfall yet, and often reaches temperatures in the 70s. Either this is the Winter of Global Warming or we’re being set up.

This weekend, I will be celebrating with many friends at GAFilk. Lots of music, lots of love.

People wonder what this blog is about. I’m a psychiatric survivor, musician, direct support professional, disabled person, pagan priest, bard, friend, online groups manager, science fiction and fantasy fan, reader of much non-fiction, editor… and I love my two cats.

I get criticism that I don’t just pick one subject and blog on it, but that would mean I would need many blogs. This blog reflects my humanity, in all my failures and successes, joys and degradations. I have been trying to make myself the best person I can be, and have had a lot of success in doing so, but it is far from a finished product.

If you are someone I have helped, thank you for being there so that I could practice being the good person I intent to be. If you are someone I have refused to help, thank you for helping me set boundaries on what I can and cannot do.

Hugs,
Me

Filk, friends, health, help, home, life, Moss Bliss, music, paganism

05

Jan

2016

Synopsis

2015 has been a great year for me. I have a new, permanent home, a new purpose, a new confidence. My role in my Family has grown, as has my role in my various outside activities, helping the homeless and ministering to prisoners and my position as a bard.

I suppose the downside was my burgeoning debt. Some of that debt was incurred to fund my future; some of it was to move, or to fill the needs presented by the new house. Some of it, admittedly, was from poor decisions, not sure if I’ll ever completely get rid of those. 2016 is when I pay for that. So long as I keep my job, this should not be an issue. Aum shrim Mahalaxmiyei svaha!

I’m not really making any resolutions for the new year, other than to consolidate and grow the seeds already planted (and shrink the debt). This will be a very organic year for me, probably won’t be a whole lot for me to report upon other than road signs.

Blessings on all your endeavors!

Hugs,
Me

Barding, family, friends, home, Moss Bliss, music, paganism, Prison Ministry, work

31

Dec

Breaking the Silence

Some of you already know this. I have been in transition with housing, moving to Sojourn, a cabin and a livelihood in Dandridge, TN, where I will steward the new growth of Triad Bardic College. This left my temporary housemate, Skycladlilith SaintMartha, in a tight spot, as she needs a place to go or a new housemate, but she knew it was coming eventually and I gave her lots of notice (and donated some of my things to her so that she might have a bit more money – by selling them – to take care of stuff).

I am mostly at Sojourn now. We held a dedication of the site a week ago, to much joy and revelry. We moved most of my furniture (except one bookcase and the stuff being left behind) yesterday. I still have a lot of unpacking to do, and I still have a lot of stuff in Blaine to move (mostly books, and then cleaning up the place).

This could, and by design should, be my last move. I have a smallish cabin, with about 7 acres of woods with walking trails. I will be hosting Triad events here every month or four, and doing teaching from here. The site is also a beautiful place for people to get married, and we have lots of clergy from a variety of spiritual traditions available for the purpose.

As for my own music, I promise to finally get my CD published (as a physical object — the music is for sale in downloadable MP3s now). I have purchased a new guitar, which is beautiful and sounds wonderful and has a pickup so I can play more venues. I expect to be playing at many events in 2016, starting with my annual trip to Atlanta in early January.

I got a new job a few months ago; this move more than halves my driving distance. It also puts me within 4 miles of my closest friends, who are now also my landlords. I have a friend in White Pine I’ve been wanting to spend time with, and that is now only 11 miles away.

As for my personal romantic life, it’s still me and Nan, and Nan is still in Hendersonville NC and unable to leave there at the present time or foreseeable future. It has been this way for a long time. I can live with it, and also wonder how I could shoehorn her into this cabin.

So that’s about it. My health has been all right, although when I cast myself far afield for Gatherings I have not been well. A lot of that is stress, a lot of that is “sun poisoning” (I *must* remember to take a hat), and perhaps some of it is as yet undiscovered.

Special hugs to my Family, and my family. My favorite cousins know who they are and know that I love them. I tend to love everyone who lets me, which has gotten me in a lot of trouble over the years but has helped me grow into what I am today, and I expect that growth to continue.

Blessings on you all.

Hugs,
Me

All the Love, Barding, Druidry, Earth's Web, family, friends, health, home, life, love, Moss Bliss, music, paganism, Triad

29

Jun

Happy Beltane

I just returned from a lovely weekend with my spiritual Family, belatedly celebrating Beltane in the woods at our usual site. It was incredible, and we had the best Bardic event in recent memory. I’m exhausted but happy, and have yet to unload my car. I hope you all had a blessed Beltane whenever and wherever you celebrated it.

I took a large box of books and sold nearly half of them (at bargain-basement prices), making me a decent amount of money. I also collected what was owed on an earlier sale of a netbook. Good times plus money equals happiness, LOL.

Hugs,

Me

Barding, Earth's Web, family, friends, Moss Bliss, music, paganism, weekend

17

May

Bad Morning Ruminations

Not my best morning. Fading in and out of a not-very-empowering dream, I started remembering various times in my life where my family hurt me and (a) failed to protect me, (b) ignored what was happening and then denied anything did, or (c) openly laughed at me for being hurt. All those times when just ONE person could have comforted me and it would be all right — and nobody did. All the times I was told that something I was good at would never be good enough to be worth anything (“You’ll never make money at that, better do something else.”)

I’m sure I’ve disappointed my family. but they disappointed me first.

And guess what? I’m not going to hurt myself. Too many people would say, “See, I told you he wouldn’t turn out to any good.” I hope you understand how horrible it feels to go on living and taking the best care of myself I know how, because, in my deepest heart, I know how many people would be satisfied if I gave up.

A lot of other areas of my life are based on that premise. I’m going to keep doing something, not because I love doing it (I know I would have loved it if I had gotten the least encouragement from the family who was supposed to do that) but because someone would be smugly satisfied if I quit and I refuse to give them that.

I’ll have sunnier posts. I promise.

Selected comment and response on Facebook:

Danielle Meierhenry Remember it’s Mercury Retrograde AND a full moon right now. It’s bound to play games in the subconscious. I know it’s little comfort in the moment, though.

Moss Bliss Yeah, well, Mom (Luna, Mother Earth) always makes me feel loved. I sometimes miss having a person touch me and tell me that, but I never doubt Goddess.

Moss Bliss That judging Sky God always took my family’s side, and told me I wasn’t His type. I’m sure a lot of people who are “different” feel the same on that score.

family, friends, health, life, mother, paganism

04

Feb

Happy Imbolc

I had a wonderful Imbolc celebration, mostly with Morristown-area members of my spiritual Family. Some I hadn’t seen for quite a while — Phoenix and his lady I hadn’t seen since the Splendor Hollow Music Festival. (I don’t have much money for going out, so I’ve been missing the local performances of Tuatha Dea).

With all the wonderful food provided by everyone, with special thanks to our hosts, Oz and Magenta Moon (who began the celebration on a high note by becoming handfasted to each other), amazingly I did not gain much weight. I was encouraged to sing and also to play my harp, Rosaleen. I shouldn’t ignore my guitars in this, as both Blue and Carlos got to use their stringy, sonorous talents.

Before the whole holiday season, I weighed 240 (up from 205 last February, but that was largely the cause of starvation). I weigh 242 today. Now it’s time for me to start working that number down again in a healthy manner. If I could talk myself into more exercise, that would help.

I hope you’re enjoying the Return of the Sun in your lives.

Hugs,
Moss

Barding, Earth's Web, family, friends, music, paganism, weekend

01

Feb

Yule Party

Friday night was the guys’ Christmas Party, thrown by the company I work for, RHA. It was some fun, some very much not fun, as my guy can’t take crowds for long and can’t handle anticipation (gifts after dinner — as soon as dinner was over he was moaning “I don’t get none”). I did manage to keep him calm enough until he got his box, but pretty much had to get him out of there after the presents were over.

In the end, I worked an hour of overtime, as we didn’t get home until 8:30 and I still had to get him ready for bed, wash his socks, and administer his meds.

Meanwhile, my own Family’s Yule Part was underway and I was itching to get there. I am proud that I put my job over my own needs this once (as my guy’s needs are very real and that’s what I signed up for). But as soon as I could get to the car and leave, I did. I still had to stop off and get some wrapping stuff for my shared gift (we bring one gift, and draw numbers to pick whatever gift looks intriguing — I took some expensive incense, I got a pine bottle of Mtn Dew mead brewed by 5). I’m jumping ahead, as the gift tree was Saturday night.

I took Rosaleen, my harp, on Friday night, as well as a bag of my hats to give away. Had a good time, got unwound, had to drive home. In all, I might have been there 2 hours before I found myself getting tired enough to need to leave. I got back Saturday morning, just before noon. Early for me.

Great day yesterday. So many of the people who loved me were there, some people I didn’t know well (in a small enough setting that I got a chance to know them better), etc. I think I stayed until 11 pm — there was frost I had to scrape/melt off the car, I think that was the first time this Winter. I got quite a lot of good comments about my harping (I also allowed Will and Alianna to play it, which really got them lit up with glee).

When I woke up this morning, I remembered a dream, and it had to do with taking care of my guy, JM. I posted it to my dream notebook. Suffice it to say that I have rarely dreamed for the past couple years, had one I didn’t remember long enough to write down a week ago, and this is certainly the first time I dreamed about my guy and this job. I’ve had the job since May 2013, must be sinking in to my subconscious.

Hope you all have a good holiday season whatever you celebrate.

Hugs,
Me

Barding, Earth's Web, family, holidays, love, Moss Bliss, paganism, poverty, Prison Ministry, weekend

14

Dec

2014

Quiet Time

I assure you, lots of good things are happening in my life. More articles in Peppermint & Sage, more friends to talk to, good things on the computer front (like a Pogoplug as a birthday present), and I’m finally starting to lose weight again (I’ve been gaining like mad since getting free into my own apartment, was up to 242 after being 204 when I moved in). But right now I’m all about getting myself together.

One old friend has bladder cancer and decided that fighting it was harder than giving in, so he has moved (12 hours away rather than 2) to be closer to his remaining family. Another is trying to raise money for a car she can live in, which, again, would take her farther than 2 hours away.

No Thanksgiving invitations… well, actually, two, but I work 3 to 8 pm. One starts at 4 and the other is a 2-hour drive away (and I’d have to drive back, and work again on Friday). So I guess that removes one possibility for weight gain. I’d love to have some people to just hang with.

Issues:
Psych drugs — completely free since Nov 2003
Music — no scheduled concerts, GAFilk in January is my next con, hoping to get to ConCarolinas in May.
Spirituality — Phamily’s Yule Gather is coming up soon
Age — I get to turn 61 solar cycles next week
Health — Doing pretty well. Blood pressure in check with only one lite med, getting an injection every other week, taking lots of vitamins, minerals, and other supplements.
Pets — Cecil and Narasimha, my two black kitty brothers, are wonderful to me when they are not beating each other up. Ariadne got fed this week, but I haven’t yet gotten Salazar to eat (both are royal pythons).
Neighbors — I have new neighbors across the hall in #6, but they just moved from one of the apartments up front. Haven’t gotten to know them yet.

So overall I’m feeling connected but alone, healthy but with issues, safe, and my job is still good. I even got a $0.27/hr raise the other week…

Hugs,
Me