Tag Archive: paganism

Aftermath

I had a rollicking good time at #Atomacon this past weekend. Not many were at my concert, and only one of the three panels was really well-attended and it was loads of fun, but I learned how to make a hand puppet from someone who worked with Jim Henson. I had a big shock when my gas tank almost fell off my car, and I got it to a shop which was almost closed just in time — just dropped two bolts, each of which held up the front of a skid bar which, in turn, held up the gas tank. I was really proud of how well I handled it.

Maybe next con I go to I will have no car trouble at all.

Hugs,
Me

Foot forward

Yesterday was the annual Coordinators’ Meeting of Earth’s Web. Got everything done. Got called in to work, my co-worker’s car died. Told my manager it would take me an hour and a half to get there, he said anything helps. When I got there, he said my co-worker got her car running and would be there in minutes, so I went home. Minor disappointments. Had a good day, other than being tired from all that driving.

Getting my head in gear for next weekend, when I will be playing for the first time at a con in Charleston, SC. Should be interesting… had a minor setback already. But my voice is ready even if I haven’t been practicing on anything but my new harp.

Hugs,

Me

More Music

I’m getting ready for my trip to Pittsburgh, where I just found out I’m going to have a 90-minute concert. Wow. Can’t remember the last time I was given more than 30-45 minutes. Gotta practice more… something which I am not doing…

And now I got invited to perform this September in Dillsboro, NC, at an organization related to the Canary Coalition. And I’m still gearing up for my November performance in Charleston, SC.

It must be 15 or 20 years since I had 3 major concerts in a year. I feel so blessed. People are listening to my music and lifting it up, not putting me down. My most triggering (and most healing) songs are being listened to and seen as positive (which is what I wrote them for).

I’m still having trouble writing new stuff. Even my article writing seems to have ground to a halt but I’m trying to push through that. Hopefully the blessings of performance and a positive reception at those performances will move me forward.

Hugs,
Me

PPM Weekend

I get Friday off to drive down to Georgia for a Pagan Prison Ministry workshop. Should be fun, haven’t worked with Darla for a while now. I was going to have a friend go with me but she couldn’t get the time off.

Some of you may be like, what’s a Pagan Prison Ministry? Well, it’s simple. We minister. To pagans. In prison. We don’t care whether they are studying with us for a better life when they get out or they are studying with us from a worse life before going in. Ethics and morality are important, and having a sensible religious basis for them helps.

It is a true statement that some inmates study with us just to get extra free time. I was amazed a year ago to meet the young men at Foothills Correctional Facility in Morganton, NC, and see how hard they had worked. Maybe they got into it for a party but they didn’t stay in it for a party. We are making a difference in these peoples’ lives.

May you also be making a difference in the lives you touch.

 

Hugs,

Me

Dragged out

I haven’t been writing much, I know. My job — and the 34 miles a day round trip I take to get there — is wearing me out. I wish I could afford to cut back to 4 days. I even missed a deadline for Peppermint and Sage ezine.

In the meantime, a person who loves me has been going through hell and I’m virtually the only one willing to even listen. I’ve been sending her every drop of extra energy I have. Gee, maybe that’s part of the problem.

In the next few weeks, I have a Gathering to go to (which I might skip of day-trip), a Pagan Prison Ministry workshop in Georgia, and then have to get ready for Confluence in Pittsburgh at the end of July. I need to get more time practicing. I actually have a friend who keep calling and wanting me to play for her via Skype, knowing that I need the practice, but I just don’t have the energy.

Still no idea when I’ll be able to get my CD to become a physical reality, but it is still for sale as a download (with extras) at http://mordewis.bandcamp.com .

Guess that’s it for now.

Hugs,
Me

Hanging Out With Myself

Got home from work last night with nobody home. Was expecting someone. Texted Honey. She said she would be gone for the weekend. Nice to know in advance.

Computer is working sorta OK. I went ahead and started setting Puppy up. At this point, I can’t get the computer to recognize a boot disk automatically, but if I hold Esc down while booting it brings up a menu which includes a choice to boot off the DVD drive, so I can get to Puppy if I want to. So I have to research how to get it to boot automatically, and have to get my programs installed again.

Waiting to hear on the van.  No responses yet on new housing.

I finally got around to writing my next article for Peppermint and Sage ezine. Glad I got that done… not sure whether I’m actually saying something, and hope I get some responses. Should be on time for the next article, nothing major in the way of me writing. Who knows, I might even do some research for it… naw LOL

Hugs,

Me

Hellooooooo?

My blog is getting seen. By anywhere from, oh, zero to four persons per day. Sorry to be so uninteresting.

I’d think there would be that many views just trying to catch up, now that I have multiple years worth of blogs added.

I gave myself a birthday present (well, Mom gave me the money, so I guess you could say she gave it to me) and joined Ar nDraoicht Fein (Our Own Druidism), founded something like 30 years ago by P.E.I. (Isaac) Bonewits. I look forward to learning new things, and wonder why I didn’t join much sooner. My students have been reading Isaac’s major book as part of their studies for, well, as long as I’ve been teaching. Isaac’s widow, Phaedra, has been on my Friends list at Facebook for, well, since before he died, which isn’t all that long, but we have gotten quite friendly (in a Facebook-y way).

Life is still hell in a big way. A Disability check and a part-time job were not meant to be used to raise a SO and her daughter in a big house (the rent is cheap, the utilities are not) and it stresses me to my limits and beyond almost every day. Our personalities are just different enough to not be able to easily figure out what to do to coexist or, better, work together easily. Which, of course, adds to the stress. I’m amazed that I’ve kept my job over 6 months (and am valued there) and not had to check myself in somewhere. The lack of a running vehicle also prevents me from getting to my therapist appointments and puts a huge crimp on the life of my family as well… probably hurts them more than it does me, as I can get the bus to work and a few other places (but not the therapist’s office).

Nothing hurts self-esteem more than feeling you’re just not doing well enough. That quickly gets translated to you ARE not good enough. Not good.

I bought my honey a phone, to use on Boost. Then I found out my bank account is overdrawn (yet again) and I can’t activate it until my next paycheck — and maybe not then, as the overdraft needs to be addressed as well as current bills. Sigh.

Ya know, I’d trade my problems for Bill Gates’ any day. There are very few ways we’re going to get through this, and they all have problems attached.

Hugs,

Me

And also losing it

I got out to Walking Fern Farm yesterday among so many people who love me, for a meeting to determine our Festivals, Moon Rituals, and Male and Female Retreats. Soon after I got there I started crying.

I’ve been so overwhelmed. I’m doing the best I can. But at my age, going from barely being able to take care of myself to having to take care of a good-sized house, a fiance, and her daughter, all by myself, has been too much for me. I have no way of fixing it… other than finding an under-the-table job which pays me to do nothing, and I don’t think anyone’s out there. I’ve tried selling my music and some meditation necklaces, and nobody is buying. My honey is selling jewelry, and has no market. We’re not begging (most of the time) but nothing is happening to keep us from needing to beg.

I got a lot of sympathy and a lot of advice, most of which I can’t use but it was welcome hearing people trying to help.

I came home and crashed. Slept until 6:30. And was still tired at bedtime.

Some of the fatigue could be from the new blood pressure medication, but I’m not feeling that. It’s the stress that just doesn’t go away, and not all of it is financial.

If you can help, my music can be purchased at http://mordewis.bandcamp.com and the meditation necklaces and other things at http://serpentscoils.ecrater.com .