Life is unfair, so they tell me
Because they think I wouldn't know.
They only can see a cheap pornflick
At the evening picture show
They say, "That worn-out film is so tired,
"And the flickering's beyond belief --
"Down in front!" they exclaim; it's all true, I suppose,
But where else can they see a girl's briefs?
What would I do without you there beside me?
How would I ever have sex?
How could we hunt without your mind to guide me?
How did I get in this mess?
You could never just do the expected
I was just a tough kid in a fog
But you spoke to my brain, and then had to explain --
Blood and Albert; a boy and his dog.
How could I ever have lived in that city
Tied down and wired up and tubed?
I went down to screw a few women
But it ended up me being screwed.
But that Junie girl helped me escape it
Even though we got near blown to bits
They chased us all over the City
And I got some great views of her tits.
No one can make me what you did
No one can walk in your fur
No one can make me forget you
We've got to eat something for sure
I just can't let it be over
But Junie would leave you this way
So I'll stand up, and make a decision
And, though not quite in your voice, I'll say:
I will stay here and we'll all have a cookout.
There's so much more she can give
While I light the fire, you will be there beside me;
As long as I feed you, you'll live.
She always asked if I knew what love is,
And I always just answered, "Sure."
But it wasn't a waste, 'cause she sure had good taste --
Broiled, that is.
I know what love is.
A boy loves his dog.
copyright ©1993 by Gerald L. Bliss. Usual disclaimer applies. This song cost me the friendship of Tom Smith for a lot of years. I'm happy to report that we buried the hatchet at last, at ReConStruction in 2010.